dating + love

Summer Dating Training Camp

June 30, 2010

Are any of these Idris Elba? If not, I quit.

Shortly after moving to Pittsburgh for grad school, I wasted no time in making friends and commencing my mackin-n-hangin (word to The Wood). Before long, I’d become quite The Dating Champ (not to be confused with THE Champ over at VerySmartBrothas.com). In 2008, my bff calculated on her fingers how many men I’d dated in that last year (some of whom I’d completely forgotten about), and she proudly displayed all 10 of her digits. I couldn’t believe I had dated 10 guys EVER, let alone in 1 year. But if you take into account that some of these dudes were stalkers, bug-a-boos, pathological liars, or dark skinned ninjas prone to wearing green contacts on occasion, the abundance in quantity was not worth the lack in quality. *smh* But nonetheless, I managed to keep the dates coming and had a male companion to have good times with and make me feel special. The way I figure it– the more you date, the more you learn about what you like and don’t like, what kind of “relationship person” you are, and have that much more experience in finding Mr/Ms Right.

Unfortunately… I’ve been in a dating drought. Haven’t been on a real date (an outing sponsored by a potential suitor) since November 09! Partially because I hadn’t met any guys that tickled my fancy, and partially because I tend to suffer from ugly girl problems. But it’s the summer, I’ve broken free of unhealthy relationships, and my new attitude has attracted a few suitors*! I’m not on the hunt for a relationship, but I like the act of going on dates. It’s fun and the crazier that dates, the better the stories for my girls (and mom). And, as I said, one step closer to better identifying THE ONE.

The thing is–I haven’t dated in so long I feel like a novice!! The “First Date Panic” is creeping up on me. I know it sounds all nice and good to say “just be yourself” but the truth of the matter is, I want to make sure I present all my best qualities, so that when my flaws and insecurities surface, the guy I’m seeing thinks to themselves, “She is pretty AND pretty great, despite that [insert undesirable characteristic here]. I’d like to get to know her better.” Now is the time to get myself together and prepare for conquering a 1st date to try and ensure that I don’t have to keep going on 1st dates, and move on to 2nd, 3rd, and 4th dates. So, I’ve compiled a list of 5 things that must be done to get me in shape for a successful through this summer of dating.

1. Literally get in shape
It’s summertime, the season to wear as little clothing as you can get away with. Why not work out to tone and trim the flabby body parts you want to expose and look good while doing it. Besides, working out always makes me feel good, gets those endorphins pumping, and clears my head.

2. Go shopping/Do Laundry
What good is a nice, fit (or close to it) body if you don’t have clean/cute clothes to show it off?? I’m known for waiting til I’m down to a week’s worth of undies before doing laundry, and even more notorious for screeching “But I have NOTHING to wear!” when it’s time to get cute and go out. So it’s critical I make sure my clothes are clean so I have options. And it doesn’t hurt to do a little shopping to upgrade the wardrobe with new sundresses, skirts, and fun colorful tops.

3. Get regular mani’s/pedi’s
Even if you do them yourself. Who wants to see chipped polish and crusty/dry/cracked/rough hands or feet? Fabulous sandals and open toed heels deserve to be worn by well kept feet.

4. Pep talk by friends (esp by those with SOs)
Nothing gets you more excited about a 1st date than a good girlfriend who just wants to see you happy, especially when this girlfriend has a good man and wants nothing more than to see YOU with a good man too. Sure, you may have single friends that offer great words of encouragement and get giddy about your new prospect, but some of these single friends are bitter and jealous and won’t be happy for you because, well, they aren’t preparing for a 1st date!

5. Be open to new activities/experiences
It’s always good to try something new. And you’ll make a good impression if you show an interest in different things that you might not have done before. My open-mindedness usually makes men feel more comfortable in suggesting doing something other than the standard dinner and a movie. I’m a sista who likes to give brothas some options so they don’t get bored. I find it to be quite effective!

With these things on deck, I’m ready to get out their and reclaim my championing place in the dating world!! Hopefully your girl Gemmie is as successful (whatever that means lol) at dating as I imagine I’ll be!!

Date Master,
~Gem

*I had a date tonight. And uhhhh it was everything a 1st date should be–2 people getting to know each other, having a great time, and makes me look forward to future outings with people who know how to show a gal a good time.

You Might Also Like

7 Comments

  • Reply SaneN85 June 30, 2010 at 6:32 pm

    It took me almost 40 minutes to read this with all of the other stuff happenening on the nets today. I'm so happy that you had a great time last night and this is a great list. I am shocked that you've even been asked out on proper dates that often. I really have to move.

  • Reply Gem of the Ocean June 30, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    @SaneN85LOL girrrrrrl pittsburgh is pretty bleak. and its amazing i found so many guys who hadnt already dated friends of mine, since everybody seems to know everybody (big city w/ small town feel). but the guy i went on a date recently isnt from here and doesnt live here. just here for work. so ALL that to say you never know who you're gonna run into!

  • Reply Shondriette July 1, 2010 at 11:36 am

    Oh, snap! I just realized that I forgot to comment yesterday.This list is so practical and I love it. I'll admit that I have a few things to work on. I've fallen off the fitness wagon but I'm easing back on it and I'm about to go on a sundress shopping spree so #s 1 and 2 will be covered. Other than that I have the rest taken care of.Congrats again on your new blog AND your promising 1st date 🙂

  • Reply Gem of the Ocean July 1, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    @Shondriettegirl arent you the one doin roller derby or whatever its called. thats work out enough!!!! i can only do controlled workouts on machines lol. but im tryna go on a sundress spree too–i have some gift cards that need to be used!!a good place to meet men is home depot! lol they got homes they gotta take care of. just hang out and see whose eye you catch. try it and let me know your results!thanks again for the love 🙂

  • Reply Cheekie July 2, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    This entire list made me smile. And gave me inspiration. You, Gemmie, are matching the Chicago sun with this post. You just brightened my day! *hugs*

  • Reply Gem of the Ocean July 2, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    @Cheekieawwwww Cheeks you are so sweet and much too kind. glad this brightened your day, since you your tweets and your posts always bring me a smile 🙂

  • Reply Sukez September 3, 2010 at 7:24 am

    I just read this 🙂 I'm glad you enjoyed yourself Gemmie. ^_^ And I love the list

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: