Tonight is the eve of the inauguration of the 45th president of the United States. Though I’m sad to see our illustrious 44th president leave the office he’s held with dignity and humility for the last 8 years, I feel mostly frightened at the uncertainty of what comes next.
It seems like every day since the 2016 presidential election there has been a daily ambush of ridiculous and foolishness news surrounding the president-elect. The shenanigans – each more ludicrous than the last – would be laughable if they weren’t likely to negatively impact actual humans that inhabit this nation. It’s devastating and frightening to think about.
I remember waking up the morning after election day, hoping that when I unlocked my phone, the nightmare that I thought had occurred would be one giant misunderstanding. I just knew that the results reported on various news stations couldn’t be accurate. This awful, hateful, temperamental candidate couldn’t possibly be the next person to govern from the highest position possible. An individual not qualified to run my errands, let alone a government? I sat at my vanity for 2 hours, numb. My body and lizard brain were mourning the seeming death of a nation before my conscious self could consciously accept what millions of my countrymen had done.
Since that day, I’ve oscillated through the stages of grief, coming back to anger and depression, unable to stay in a place of acceptance. What is there to accept? Accept that an overwhelming number of Americans will do whatever it takes to maintain white supremacy and male patriarchy, even to their own detriment? I don’t accept that. I don’t accept that just because this country’s been fucked up since its inception that there isn’t room for disappointment or resentment for systems keeping its fucked up-ness in tact. And I damn sure don’t accept the attitudes or concerns of anyone who contributed to the outcome we now face based on a fear of losing the power and privilege of whiteness that this country was built to protect.
I do, however, accept that life goes on (assuming a dismantling of the EPA doesn’t cause the planet to overheat and melt us all) and I have no other choice but to move forward. I have some sliver of hope that the bullshit that comes with this transition of power (including the potential start to WWIII over a damn tweet), I/we gon be aight. My ancestors have been able to accomplish great feats in the face of impossible odds, so there’s no reason for me not to think that what’s in store after tomorrow’s commencement is anything other than an invitation to circle the wagons and demand some muh *clap* fuckin *clap* respeck *clap* be put on our Black ass, immigrant ass, Mooslim ass, disabled ass, gay ass, pussy-having ass names!!