Oh Ye of Fickle Humanity

September 9, 2014


There are numerous things that are extremely disturbing about the public reveal of Ray Rice’s domestic abuse against his wife, Janay Palmer. It was disturbing 7 months ago when the news and video of Ray dragging his unconscious fiancée, Janay, out of a casino elevator was first brought to light by TMZ. It was disturbing to read the police report confirming that Ray knocked his fiancée unconscious. It was disturbing when the NFL suspended Ray for 2 games over his arrest for the attack. It was disturbing when the Baltimore Ravens gave their undying support of Ray. It was disturbing to watch Ray’s apology press conference and to hear his abused wife, Janay, say “I deeply regret the role I played in the incident.” It’s just as disturbing to now watch the video, again released by TMZ, recording the events inside of the elevator that served as visual proof of what we already knew – that Ray Rice knocked his [then] fiancée, Janay Palmer, unconscious. It was disturbing to see the Ravens release Ray and the NFL subsequently indefinitely suspend him 7 months after the incident, just hours after the visual evidence of Ray’s transgressions were available for public consumption.

Perhaps what was most disturbing, but not at all surprising, was the backlash of the consequences (joblessness) handed to Ray, the support of Ray’s (or any man’s) use of force against a “provoking” woman, the finger-wagging of Janay for marrying Ray after the elevator incident (and overall lack of support for domestic violence victims). I mean, we’re still dealing with the countless support of a police officer who shot and killed an unarmed teen and has yet to face any real consequences for his actions. So the aggressor/abuser/accused support isn’t anything new. There are certain people who are bound and determined to show compassion and sympathy for those who commit assault (or worse) against women and minorities. These men were obviously provoked to do what they did, cut them a break. Such supporters find countless reasons to excuse, dismiss, or rationalize the violent actions of the attacker. Yet, these same people can’t find a single iota of compassion or sympathy for the victims, the attacked, the abused. When you deserve your ass beating, you don’t deserve concern.

Inevitably when you see people who make egregious comments in support of abusers such as Ray Rice you hear people say, “What if that was your sister/mother/daughter?” or “Imagine if a man put his hands on your sister/mother/daughter?” or “Would you feel the same if it was your sister/mother/daughter?” And I think this line of thinking is just as disturbing as those that rationalize abuse/violence against a domestic partner. I think most people have good intentions when they try to make this connection, but it’s as if people needed a domestic violence situation to hit close to home to show some f*cking human decency towards people who are harmed and mistreated. Does one’s mother, sister or daughter need to be attacked, abused, raped, or harassed for one to think “attacking/abusing/raping/harassing women is wrong and the [people] who attack/abuse/rape/harass should not be excused from punishment”?? Do people  really need relational reasons to be compassionate, sympathetic, and concerned for the welfare of others who are wronged? Is it inconceivable to acknowledge someone else’s suffering and the wrongdoing done to them?

Come on people – as evolved, higher order thinking mammals we really gotta do better.



Part of my Twitter rant on the subject…

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  • Reply Wu Young, Agent of M.E. September 9, 2014 at 11:09 am

    I went on an unfollowing/blocking spree on Facebook yesterday. I actually saw a post that said “Harvey Levin is a Steelers fan trying to stir up the Ravens.” I had no response to something that dumb.

    “What if that was your sister/mother/daughter?” or “Imagine if a man put his hands on your sister/mother/daughter?” or “Would you feel the same if it was your sister/mother/daughter?”

    Doc, I don’t think some men see their sisters/mothers/wives/daughters as women. Almost as if they are de facto female…I don’t get it.

    • Reply gemmieboo September 9, 2014 at 1:04 pm

      my unfollow/unfriend game has been on it as of late. its one thing for us to disagree, its an entirely different thing for ppl to be cruel, mean, and flat out disrespectful. i just wont.

      yeah, some men dont care who the woman is – they think assault is always justified. and its really quite sad.

  • Reply madscientist7 September 9, 2014 at 11:51 am

    “what if it were your mother/sister/aunt” well what if you just showed some fucking compassion for a victim. only one person was seriously injured in that elevator that night and that person’s name was not ray rice. so i don’t understand what all the caping is for when it comes to him. people make me sick.

    • Reply Wu Young, Agent of M.E. September 9, 2014 at 11:54 am

      the way he just stood over her was so damn inhuman. The woman he allegedly loves is laying on the ground out cold by his hand and he just stood there while she was physically exposed. He’s an animal.

      • Reply gemmieboo September 9, 2014 at 1:07 pm

        and then dragged her out of that elevator like it was a huge inconvenience. shit is so deplorable and its heartbreaking to think of what may be happening at home at this moment.

    • Reply gemmieboo September 9, 2014 at 1:06 pm

      but she hit him, and thus responsible for being knocked unconscious. smfh

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