dating + love

I Believe In Movie Romances

May 18, 2011

Annnnnnd scene. Life complete.

This weekend I finally got around to watching the movie Easy A. It’s a movie I had heard rave reviews about and was waiting for the chance to catch it on Netflix when my roommate wasn’t around to commandeer the downstairs as her own personal study hall. Now, while I’d love to take this time and space to review how I gotta pocket gotta pocket full of sunshine outrageously hilarious this flick is, thanks to the comedic genius writing and the well timed delivery of Emma Stone, or talk about why “twat” is such an underused term and  insult,  I’m going to save that for another time (or not).

In Easy A, the leading character Olive (played by Emma Stone) has a moment when she shares her ideal of what guys courting girls should look like.

Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boom box outside my window. I want to ride off on a lawn mower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80s movie. Preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no. John Hughes did not direct my life.

And wouldn’t ya know it, the 80s film montage that ensued got me to thinking– John Hughes didn’t direct my life either! And dammit I could really use some direction when it comes to this dating and love thang. Or didn’t I already mention that?

Thing is, while I recognize that these heartfelt romance scenes where the guy goes wildly out of his way to make some corny yet grand gesture to the gal who has been impatiently and awkwardly waiting for him to sweep her off her feet are gross exaggerations of how real life love plays out, the fact remains… I desire for this to be my reality.

Ok, I don’t want any part of the 80s to once again be my reality but I can honestly say that deep down inside I want a movie romance. Perhaps one more akin to my favorite romantic comedy of all time, Love Actually – where the basic plot (and all subplots) follows the formula of a man falling so deeply in love with a woman that he would go to painstaking lengths to SHOW her just how real his love for her was. And she would, undoubtedly and enthusiastically, accept his expression of love for her. And they’d live happily ever after! Well happily ever after what we can infer once they kiss and the credits start rolling, right? RIGHT?!

Now, how many instances of pure unadulterated romance like this do you know of? Because I, for one, don’t know any. This is strictly for Hollywood movie endings. BUT that doesn’t prevent me from believing that such a love connection can form. Perhaps that’s why I give so much of my heart so soon–because I’m just waiting for the moment my love is reciprocated.

In my adult life, I haven’t experienced true romance. No one surprising me with dozens of flowers at work.1 No one sending me love notes. No one writing me poems about my beauty. No one whisking me off to the park for an intimate afternoon picnic. No one shouting at the top of their lungs their adoration for me in a public setting. The one and only time I experienced romance was in college–a phase in life lived in a vacuum that can’t be applied to any other aspects of “real life”. My boyfriend at the time was one of the sweetest, most thoughtful, hopeless romantics a girl could ask for, Thanks to a few lies and indiscretions, the bubble to my happy ending was burst before the ink on my college degree was dried. But I still fondly remember him as part of my movie romance that came partially to fruition.

I realize that there is much more to a successful and healthy relationship (which is ultimately what I want) than a few movie-inspired and grandiose romantic gestures, but I still desire to have a love that is unquestionably real and free. Because above all else, a movie-romance type of love  to me is one that symbolizes an uninhibited approach to love, throwing caution to the wind, falling head first into an emotional whirlpool with reckless abandon. I want a romance where love isn’t afraid to show me its face. I want a romance that is willing to look ridiculous, even at the expense of its dignity. I want a romance that hits all 5 of my senses. I want a romance that regards me as its prized possession. I want…. a movie romance.

And ya know something? At the end of Easy A, Olive got a mash-up of her 80s movie chivalry because the guy she was gunning for heard her say what she was looking for and he delivered. That ending scene may have been cliche, unoriginal and possibly even predictable (though I didn’t predict it and was gleefully surprised), but gosh darnit it was ROMANTIC!!!! That’s all a girl could ever ask for *bats eyes*

Am I silly for wanting to have some semblance of a movie romance? Am I the only one who still holds on to the fantasy of having a movie romance? What is your idea of romance? Do you think romance is important to you in a relationships?

A sucker for romance,
~Gemmie, XOXO

——
1OK, this is partially a lie. My former e-boo, Tx10Inch (of VSB), sent a dozen of my favorite flowers (purple calla lilies) to my job for Valentine’s Day one year. By far the sweetest, most thoughtful thing a stranger (for all intents and purposes) has ever done for me. If he hadn’t been overseas at the time, I think I would have flown to Texas to elope with him give him a big hug and kiss 🙂

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83 Comments

  • Reply max May 18, 2011 at 6:57 am

    I think it’s okay to want movie romance. I do too. I want to stand in the rain with the man I love and have him tell me his love is urgent like a motherf*cker (Okay well I don’t really, that would be bad for my hair. But you know what I’m saying). I think most women – even OG’s such as myself – want at least a little of that at some time.

    The problem is when women start to view movie romance behaviour as normal behaviour and are mad or disappointed when they don’t get it from their man. Yes in the movies your man shows he loves you by showing up outside your fire escape on a white horse to rescue you but in real life that rescue more likely comes in the form of paying your Visa bill this month so you can have some extra dough to buy a dress for your cousin’s wedding. I find that movie romances mess up women’s brains so they stop recognizing the romance in those small everyday offerings and think they’re deprived or unloved because they’re not getting movie-type grand gestures on a regular basis.

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 10:30 am

      thanks for stopping by max!!! great feedback 🙂

      I want to stand in the rain with the man I love and have him tell me his love is urgent like a motherf*cker (Okay well I don’t really, that would be bad for my hair. But you know what I’m saying).

      lmao girl yes, i know exactly what you’re saying!!

      I find that movie romances mess up women’s brains so they stop recognizing the romance in those small everyday offerings and think they’re deprived or unloved because they’re not getting movie-type grand gestures on a regular basis.

      i do agree that we do often overlook “the little things” that men do for us that are sweet and thoughtful because we expect them to be these big gestures of romance. but sometimes i think men dont do overtly romantic things because some of them just dont know or dont care to. i dont think romance has to be done ALL THE TIME (because then it doesnt become special) but it would be nice every quarter of a year. and dammit i want OVERT romance–buy me a flower, take me to a dinner that i dinner that EYE didnt make reservations for, stop by my job to take me out for an impromptu lunch, slip a note in my coat pocket so i see it later as i fiddle around for my phone. SOMETHING!!! i i dont think thats asking a lot. well ok, maybe it is since im not getting it lol

  • Reply The Insane Asylum (Mr. Chap) May 18, 2011 at 8:40 am

    Thank you, Max. You nailed that.

    Thank you Gem, for making me realize how old I am. 🙂

    ~Chap
    http://www.insaneasylumblog.com

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 10:32 am

      lol thanks for stopping by, Chap! how did i make you realize how old you are? it was the 80s comment wasn’t it?? lol

  • Reply Wu Young, Agent of M.E. May 18, 2011 at 9:13 am

    I love the word “twat”. That “f**k head”, and “a** hat” are three of my favorite insults.

    Love Actually, is one of the few romantic movies that I like. I think they nailed it and the soundtrack had was awesome. Otis Redding’s version of “White Christmas” went so well with the asthectics of the film. SN: The Prime Minister and his relationship with his assistant was my favorite storyline.

    I’m not an over the top romantic in real life. I can be cold and caring at the same time which is something I’m constantly working on. I do like pulling off romantic gestures for Miss Moneypenny but the most romantic thing she ever did for me was simple. Not long after we started dating in ’01 she walked into my apartment and she handed me a tall boy of Budweiser and a bag of spicy pork skins. It may not sound like much but that meant so much to my country a**. I think it’s little things like this that are romantic for guys. Guys do have to realize that we have to do the things to make our women feel awestome too!

    Good Post Gem Jones.

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 10:55 am

      my labmate thinks the word twat is so cute and innocent, he keeps calling random inanimate objects twats. it cracks me up.

      Love Actually is by far one of the best written, best casted modern romantic comedies to date. thats prob because the Brits did it. they have the film game on LOCK. my fave storyline in LA: the writer and the non-English speaking portuguese housekeeper. *swoons*

      i think if you and your boo piece have an understanding of what’s considered “romance” for each of you, go with it. one woman or man’s romantic gesture may not be another’s.

      thanks for sharing, Wu!

  • Reply Muze May 18, 2011 at 10:04 am

    i love that movie! such a well written comedy. and it made me love “pocket full of sunshine” even more than i did before i watched it. and what’s funny is my dorky self watched the commentary version after i watched the original and the director (or emma? can’t remember. lol) was saying how much he hated the song and how stupid it was, but it turned into a montage because she kept singing it. lol.

    anyhoo… i believe in romance. i want the knight in shining armor like most women. i write a lot of romantic fiction and i’m a complete SUCKER for a romantic comedy so i’m all for big romantic gestures, but i get extreme joy out of the small things as well, like Wu was saying. a man paying attention to details about me and then doing/giving something that is specific to that is just… *swoon*. lol

    for instance. i used to loooooove wildberry skittles. love love. the purple pack. lol. when i was in college, my boyfriend at the time would make sure every time i saw him, there’d be a purple pack of skittles for me to find in his car (dash, glove compartment, on my seat) or on his person (pocket, backpack, etc). i appreciated it, and he got a big smile for 79 cents worth of trouble. lol.

    good post!

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 11:13 am

      lol well now im intrigued and gotta go online and by the DVD so i can watch the commentary version.

      i’m a complete SUCKER for a romantic comedy so i’m all for big romantic gestures, but i get extreme joy out of the small things as well, like Wu was saying. a man paying attention to details about me and then doing/giving something that is specific to that is just… *swoon*

      i completely agree!!! i too love the little things. but sadly, i dont date guys who even do that. i get guys who do things that NEED to be done–like putting gas in my tank, getting my car fixed, etc. but the things that are done just to bring a smile to my face?? yeah, that doesnt happen to me.

      your college bf sounds like mine!!! he did something very similar–although it wasn’t skittles and it wasnt every time i saw him. but i think that is sooooooo cute!!!!!!! i totally love it. and its ish like that that would melt my heart 🙂

      thanks for sharing, Muze!!!

      • Reply Muze May 18, 2011 at 6:12 pm

        girl filling my tank and fixing my car WOULD put a smile on my face. lmbo. i was just telling someone the other day, i miss the days of casually mentioning my brakes were squeaking, and then the next time i drove my car, they were magically not squeaking anymore. lol. sigh. the great thing about boyfriends. lol

      • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 6:21 pm

        you see, its not that i dont appreciate it. because i do. but its sh*t i do for myself. if my car needs a fixin, i get it fixed. if dude is driving my car, even when im not rollin in it, i expect him to fill my tank. its those type of things i am grateful for, i just dont find them romantic *shrug*

      • Reply Muze May 18, 2011 at 6:26 pm

        LOl i’m with you. i’ve just been a part of the single ladies club for the longest time in my life, and i miss not having to take care of my car, because like you said, that is automatic when you have a boo. sigh. not exactly romantic, but dang if i don’t miss it. lol

        btw… i will NEVA eva again subscribe to comments on both you and cheekie’s blog on the same day. eva! lol. my phone has been blowing up. lol

      • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 6:29 pm

        LMAO!!!! i dont have email notifications on my phone so i never get blown up on the comments.

        but im glad you and the homie James care enough about whats going on to subscribe!! yay!!!! *glitter*

    • Reply starita34 May 18, 2011 at 2:56 pm

      <3 at the skittles!! <3

  • Reply MsEvaHoney May 18, 2011 at 10:37 am

    *Le sigh*
    I love romance, though I have experienced very little. I am incredibly shy and get embarassed easily so if anyone did things like that, I would blush an deflect it. I think it is good believe in some form of romance, even movie romance. Isnt that what we live off of anyway. The hope, prayer and dreams to be, do, have better? It keeps us motivated. Love is no different.

    Good Post

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 11:18 am

      I think it is good believe in some form of romance, even movie romance. Isnt that what we live off of anyway. The hope, prayer and dreams to be, do, have better? It keeps us motivated. Love is no different.

      yesssss!!! i feel the same.

      and dont be shy and bashful about romance!!! embrace that ish in bask in its glory!!! *hugs*

  • Reply The Heavy Weight Lover May 18, 2011 at 11:32 am

    Great Post! I agree with your sentiments. Being romatic is a lost art form. As a guy, Im not suppose to be “romantic” all the time but I do sit sometimes and think of different way I could do something romantic for “the lady of my life” but there is a vacancy in that department *sigh*. So I just write down the ideas and hopefully one day I’ll be able to use them. But one day there will be someone who will do above and beyond what you think is romantic and he will have your heart.

    P.S. I have “Easy A” in my Netflix queue but I haven’t watch it yet but it will be watched soon.

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 12:48 pm

      awww you are so cute for this!!!!!!! the fact that you think about romantic things you could do for a special young lady is just…. *thug tear* so adorable!!!

      please dont ever lose that desire. a good woman will absolutely appreciate the thoughtfulness of your gestures and have no problem making you feel like her king in return.

      p.s. watch Easy A tonight!!!! its FANTASTIC!

    • Reply L Boogie May 18, 2011 at 1:52 pm

      Get out your comfort zone homie! You’re a good dude, chicks out there will appreciate…just gotta get out there lol

      • Reply The Heavy Weight Lover May 18, 2011 at 6:55 pm

        The Comfort Zone is my arch-nemesis. I just have to find away to let the James that my friends see be the James that females see when I’m trying to court them.

        You def gave me a blog topic to talk about later tonight, thanks homes!

  • Reply miss t-lee May 18, 2011 at 11:39 am

    Aw romance, I don’t dig the whole movie version per se’, but I do love the idea of defining it within your own personal relationships.
    I tell this story often, of the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. Most people find it hard to understand how I would be touched by something so small but truly, it was just so sweet.
    My sweetie pie (RIP) had invited me over to his place. We’d just started dating, and he wanted to make me dinner. Meanwhile I knew he couldn’t cook, so my cynical azz was wondering exactly what he was up to. It was really cute, he’d bought some frozen pizzas, and jazzed them up, had my favorite non alcholic drink grape kool-aid 🙂 , and for dessert, ice cream sandwiches. We ended up sitting outside and talking all night, and we dated for a few years until he passed away.
    Recently I took that “Love Language” quiz, which for years I thought was complete and total horsesh*t. Turns out I’m an “acts of service” type girl, who knew? 🙂

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 12:51 pm

      I don’t dig the whole movie version per se’

      why does this NOT surprise me?? lol

      sorry for your loss, goon. but it sounds like you had a winner on your hands!!! i think anytime a guy makes effort to put a smile on our face, in his own little way, its worth a thousand heart flutters and memorable moments. im sure you’ll find another good dude who will romance you in the way you would appreciate and adore.

      i, too, took the Love Language quiz. while i definitely appreciate and desire acts of service, my primary LL is words of affirmation.

      • Reply miss t-lee May 18, 2011 at 1:01 pm

        “why does this NOT surprise me?? lol”

        *sings* cause baby I’ma goon…LOL #rgs

        Thanks. 🙂 He was most definitely a sweetheart.

        Affirmation huh? Hmmm for you, that sounds about right. 🙂

      • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 1:03 pm

        haha! im a goon too but dammit goons need love too!! if a boo piece got me a diamond-crusted pistol…. id be on #goonswoon like no other!!!

  • Reply NY2VA May 18, 2011 at 11:55 am

    “Romance” is so different for men than it is for women. They derive so much pleasure from very simple heartfelt gestures, but the gestures look very different from ours. One of the most “romantic” things I ever did for my husband was actually not very romantic, in my eyes. My husband and I dated in high school, but went our separate ways when we went away to college. We reunited four years later. As we talked and got to know one another again, I learned that he had lost his high school football jerseys, so for Valentines day, I contacted his former coach and ordered him two replacement jerseys. Coach got a little choked up and said to me, “Wow! That’s the best Valentine’s Day gift ever. _______is a lucky man. I wish my wife would do something like that for me.” My husband concurred. The look on his face when he opened that package was PRICELESS! I thought it was just a cool gift. As it turned out, I had discovered the bromance holy grail.

    Sometimes our men do things for us that are truly heartfelt and thoughtful, but we don’t see them as “romantic.” I’ve learned to locate the romance in those simple gestures because I understand the thought process behind the gesture. Don’t get me wrong, he gives me movie romance every now and then, but I truly cherish the regular awesome too. I dig the tennis bracelet he bought me for my birthday, but when my husband comes home with cupcakes just to say, “Thanks for being so frickin awesome,” I really dig that too.

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 1:01 pm

      1st of all–i look forward to your thoughts on love because you and your husband are sooooo frikkin cute i cant stand it!! so thanks for chiming in on this lol

      2nd–“Romance” is so different for men than it is for women. They derive so much pleasure from very simple heartfelt gestures, but the gestures look very different from ours.

      i agree!!! and i think its important in relationships to try and find fun new ways to show love to your mate. i think it gets boring when you do the same things over and over. it becomes redundant and predictable.

      i think your jersey gift to your hubby is AWESOME!!!!! and sounds like something i would do too. and that IS romantic–because its not something you do for just any ol body and its unexpected. i love it 🙂 and the fact that your hubby does nice little things “just because you’re great” is romantic as well. im over here SWOONING!!!

    • Reply starita34 May 18, 2011 at 3:01 pm

      *swooning right next to Gemmie*

  • Reply That Damn African May 18, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    “I realize that there is much more to a successful and healthy relationship (which is ultimately what I want) than a few movie-inspired and grandiose romantic gestures”

    There’s nothing wrong with wanting some semblance of a movie romance, as long as you never forget the text I quoted.

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 1:02 pm

      agreed.

    • Reply NY2VA May 18, 2011 at 1:33 pm

      I read your post about heartbreak and the part where you talked about your mate being your “Brother in Christ” first really resonated with me. My husband really is my dude, my boy, my friend. If we weren’t married or romantically involved, i would want to kick it with him anyway. The funny thing is, my husband is ADD and as a result is not very detail oriented, so when it occurs to him to be sweet just because I’m the dopest female that he’s heard thus far (Lyte), I REALLY appreciate it a lot!

      As far as us being “cute,” that really only comes across in writing. No one has EVER called us cute LOL! He has no filter and says a lot of crazy ish out loud, and you already know how I am. The e-me you get is pretty much the real me. I talk just like i post. People think we are hilarious, but we’ve never gotten cute. In person, we look and sound like good friends, I think. but then again, I guess that is cute.

      • Reply NY2VA May 18, 2011 at 1:34 pm

        This was supposed to be upthread. Sorry…

      • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 4:26 pm

        well a cute couple to me is one who just clicks and EVERYONE can see the love, despite how its communicated. my parents are 2 of the most non-affection having couples i know. they are constantly bickering and raising hell about some bullshyt. but ya know what?? i can TELL they love each other in the little things they do and even the way they argue. its cute to me because even when they try to front, i know they are down for each other.

        and while yall make say crazy things to each other and act like each other’s homies, i still think that is CUTE!! lol

  • Reply MsEsquire77 May 18, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    *standing ovation* This post made my heart happy! I’m not a traditionly romantic person but I loove “Love Actually”. (However, the scene from the picture above pisses me off!)

    Movies, music and books can create unrealistic expectations but they also breed hopefulness and can spawn creativity. I don’t need grand gestures but I greatly appreciate when my man does things to make me happy or make my life less stressful like: filling my gas tank, cooking and bringing me dinner, buying tulips because they are my favorite, etc.

    The little things go a long way and men/women would do well to remember that.

    • Reply L Boogie May 18, 2011 at 1:55 pm

      I was hoping you chimed in…you were my prime example of how I currently see romance….grandiose in a concentrated form lol

    • Reply starita34 May 18, 2011 at 3:03 pm

      Yessssss, when you tweeted that Lurry filled your tank the other day (pause) my heart just melted…those thoughtful gestures can make my week.

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 4:31 pm

      *standing ovation* This post made my heart happy!

      lol thanks. it made my heart happy to write it. although for a brief instant i was sad at the lack of romance ive had in my day. *sigh*

      the scene in the pic pissed me off too. i HATED that story line. partially because it was the brotha was was getting clowned! but the sentiment behind dudes cue cards were so precious–esp the “to me you’re perfect” one. and thats why its posted.

      Movies, music and books can create unrealistic expectations but they also breed hopefulness and can spawn creativity.

      agreed!!! i definitely think both men and women owe it to their mates to be willing to step outside the normal. day to day, this is what we do EVERY day box and do something sweet and romantic!

  • Reply Phidelity15 May 18, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    As an 80’s baby who was raised by teenagers and saw way too much too soon…I definitely love John Hughes and all his romantical endings. As such I would absolutely geek if I were presented with a grandiose gesture of love and affection. I think what movie romances get right is that women, or at least me, want to be shown as well as told how a man feels about us.
    Max mentioned above about the little things and yes sometimes they are overlooked, but lets be honest how often does a dude remember the little things? I recently had a discussion with an oldie but goodie about how he was cap’n save a hoe for various other people but rarely if ever assisted me. Little things like taking one less thing off my already full plate can definitely be seen as a grand gesture..if no gestures are made at all.

    So to wrap this all up…you are not bugging to want a movie romance. It doesn’t have to be an ongoing, everyday thing but every once in awhile a woman would love to be shown how deep is your love for her. I, too, would love to have a romance that showcases how madly, truly, deeply you feel because I’m a passionate lover (not being fresh for all you filthy minds 😉 ) and reciprocity goes a long way.

    SN: I’ve never seen Love Actually. I guess I should get on it since everyone swears by that movie

    • Reply NY2VA May 18, 2011 at 1:40 pm

      ” I recently had a discussion with an oldie but goodie about how he was cap’n save a hoe for various other people but rarely if ever assisted me. ”

      The strong, black woman thing will make your man completely disregard the vulnerable pieces of you. My husband and I had a huge emotional blow up about this many years ago. He treated his ex-girlfriend like a helpless China Doll, but never extended any of that kind of assistance to me. As it turns out, it never occurred to him to do so because he felt that I stronger and way more capable than she was. My strength was part of the reason he was with me and not her. I told him that I felt like he was ignoring the small part of me that wanted and needed to be taken care of and he totally understood.

      • Reply Phidelity15 May 18, 2011 at 3:07 pm

        Yes!! This dude does the same thing.. went out his way to help an ex who was always in “dire” situations. I told him constantly she was using him but he didnt believe and then he never lift a hand to help me. He actually blamed me for not getting the help stating that everytime I present a problem I always have a solution or state that I got it covered so he doesn’t offer any help. So our situation was also communication in that he said all I had to do was simply ask (which is a biggie for me since I don’t like asking for anything) or at the very least don’t present problems as open and shut already, giving him leeway to read btwn the lines and assist more.

      • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 4:38 pm

        The strong, black woman thing will make your man completely disregard the vulnerable pieces of you.

        please say this again, for the cheap seats.

        i had the same issue you mention with your husband in my last relationship. hes always talking about how giving and thoughtful he is of his friends, but when it came to me i felt forgotten and ignored. hell, thats part of the reason we arent together now. because of his lack of attention to my needs and feelings, i became resentful and vocal about my dislike of it. which of course led to arguments and etc.

        ive said too much (cuz aint nobody ask for alladat) but thank you for pointing that out!

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 4:35 pm

      I think what movie romances get right is that women, or at least me, want to be shown as well as told how a man feels about us.

      yes!

      Little things like taking one less thing off my already full plate can definitely be seen as a grand gesture..if no gestures are made at all.

      right. and for a woman who is worth her weight in gold, she would appreciate the smallest things because she knows that its something that is not within a guy’s comfort zone to offer.

      because I’m a passionate lover (not being fresh for all you filthy minds 😉 ) and reciprocity goes a long way.

      DITTO!!!! *goon daps* we are soooo >>>here<<<

      and please see Love Actually ASAPtually!!! you will love it and all its romantical gloriousness.

  • Reply L Boogie May 18, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    Girl….I haven’t experienced romance either…the closest I got was Valentine’s Day in high school when my boyfriend at the time had a different gift with a different friend in every one of my classes and even had an administrator give me something at lunch. At the time, I was like o_____O but it is truly the most romantic thing anyone has ever done…I sit here and think of the things that I would like done for me and they seem simple…a midday picnic on the water, sitting on the balcony talking the night away, impromptu short trips someplace…they don’t seem like much, but apparently…

    Anyways, I don’t think you’re wrong in wanting a movie romance…I, too desire bits and pieces of one to compliment an already solid realistic relationship. I have the desire to show my future man romance in however he defines it (I hear football tickets are a good start *wink*), and have that reciprocated, especially if it’s voluntary…

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 5:27 pm

      awwww what a cute VDay surprise!!! high school love man, nothin quite like it.

      im definitely with you on wanting to do romantic things for my Mister. i just love making some one feel special–it makes me feel loved to SHOW love in new and fun ways. esp when they least expect it.

      we’ll get our romance girl. just you wait!!

  • Reply Adonis May 18, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    This is BY FAR, my favorite blogpost, like top 10-15 of blogposts… And I believe every word of it… (Coming from a man who does not believe most of the BS women be spewing)

    This is one topic… That I have full credibility to elab on… (but I won’t)

    http://www.singleblackmale.org/2011/02/04/girls-are-not-your-friend/#comment-227073

    To sum it up… From my experience… Women like you are in small number (Romance Over Everything…)

    Most women want a strong untameable FIRST… & the romance is a bonus…

    Cause guys who do romantic things off the bat gets put in the Nice, weak guy category… warranted or unwarranted…

    So, you know I am rooting for you to get as many romantic moments that your sweet little heart can handle…

    But you also have to understand that most women are not as crazy about romance as they are about strong men…

    Good Post… I got my eye on you now…

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 5:37 pm

      fave?? wow. why thank you, A *curtsies*

      do most women really want romance as a bonus after having a strong man?? hmmm thats an interesting perspective. i dont think i ever thought of having one before the other. nor have i ever considered men who do romantic things for women of interest as being weak.

      i wonder what the ladies think… anyone??

      So, you know I am rooting for you to get as many romantic moments that your sweet little heart can handle…

      thank you dear. i appreciate it. im rooting for me too 😉

      • Reply Adonis May 18, 2011 at 5:52 pm

        I I’M. intrigued. on how your female audience is going to respond as well…

        I judge women based on the men they have dated, not on the men they saytheylike. to date …

        I am sure men are guilty of this to. But women aredefinitely guilty of this …

  • Reply starita34 May 18, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    *Dips this in carbonite to be preserved forever* “Because above all else, a movie-romance type of love to me is one that symbolizes an uninhibited approach to love, throwing caution to the wind, falling head first into an emotional whirlpool with reckless abandon. I want a romance where love isn’t afraid to show me its face. I want a romance that is willing to look ridiculous, even at the expense of its dignity” YES! Be vulnerable with me!

    I’ve had two movie romance type romantic dates…one guy turned out to be a racist, the other was married. -_- #Whomps.

    The things that set butterflies aflutter in my stomach and oxytocin raging through my veins with my Him were little things…the reassuring touch on the thigh, the shoes neatly lined up in the background of a picture, the pot of gumbo he made for dinner, the reliability that he exhibited, and his overall love, pride, and giddiness displayed when he talked about his daughter and nephew…give me that kind of romance any day.

    But I feel you…that over the top movie romance seems super sweet. But my favorite is still in Just Wright where Queen Latifah is sick and Common spoon feeds her soup <3 That's the romance that I crave…

    • Reply starita34 May 18, 2011 at 3:14 pm

      OH! And the flowers from an eBoo!? How sweet!

      • Reply NY2VA May 18, 2011 at 3:18 pm

        WORD!!!

      • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 5:54 pm

        i know right?? he really out did himself on that. #winner

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 5:52 pm

      LOL @ *Dips this in carbonite to be preserved forever*

      you are a mess! but yes, i will be vulnerable with you!!

      and uhh you get extra points for using oxytocin in your comment!!! *gold star*

      omg star im so hype that you are >>>here<<< with me on the romance thing. you know exactly what im talmbout!!

      But my favorite is still in Just Wright where Queen Latifah is sick and Common spoon feeds her soup <3 That's the romance that I crave…

      yeah, i swooned at that too!

    • Reply Wamuyu May 19, 2011 at 12:56 am

      i loved the movies Just Wright!!! < that was romance and a bag of chip plus the salsa sauce!!! Yum!
      But my favorite is still in Just Wright where Queen Latifah is sick and Common spoon feeds her soup <3 That's the romance that I crave… << i think in essence…..Unexpected simplicity is extremely romantic!! ~~ read that somewhere and it spoke volumes, yes?

  • Reply Euphoric Ears May 18, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    *puts G Status Platinium Member card in pack pocket*

    *sighs* I am a hopeless romantic. No matter how many times I watch Jamal tell Latika “I’ve never forgotten. It is our destiny” or Syd tell Dre when she first fell in love with hip-hop or when Monica challenges Quincy to a came of 1 on 1 for his heart…I squeal in delight! I love, love. And I love seeing love conqure the odds. I want that.

    ” I want a romance that hits all 5 of my senses.” <—–YES!!!! I wanna be enveloped in it. Love. L.O.V.E.

    As an adult, romanc is severly lacking my life. In fact, the most romantic thing happened to me years ago…in high school. I wrote about it on Valentine's Day on my blog, but I'll try and keep it short. My friend Dave, who had a crush on me. Brought me flowers to my job (McDonald's) in a snow storm. He begged his sister to bring him up there and wanted us to go out, but she wasn't having that,lol. That was the last time I received flowers too…I'll never forget that.

    • Reply Euphoric Ears May 18, 2011 at 3:23 pm

      *back pocket

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 5:59 pm

      No matter how many times I watch Jamal tell Latika “I’ve never forgotten. It is our destiny” or Syd tell Dre when she first fell in love with hip-hop or when Monica challenges Quincy to a came of 1 on 1 for his heart…I squeal in delight! I love, love. And I love seeing love conqure the odds. I want that.

      this comment made me swoon–both the comment AND the movies from whence this comment came.

      im sad that the last romantic thing that happened to you was in HIGH SCHOOL!!!! it just boggles my damn mind how many of us ladies up in here commenting havent experienced much romance. ugh!!!

      i actually know quite a few men who know how to flip the romance switch when the time is right. why they gotta be like brothers to me doe?? its never the men that date me. *smh* im at a loss….

      • Reply NY2VA May 18, 2011 at 6:22 pm

        “im sad that the last romantic thing that happened to you was in HIGH SCHOOL!!!!”

        Unfortunately, a lot of brothas I know took their romance game with them to college and got it beaten out of them by trifling women.

  • Reply Muze May 18, 2011 at 6:09 pm

    i suppose i need to watch Love, Actually again. i loooooove hugh grant and anything he is in, but for some reason it didn’t strike the cord with me like it did everyone else the first time i watched. i saw a little part of it the other week when it was on cable, but i had company and they wanted to change. i’m going to put it in my netflix queue.

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 6:25 pm

      DO IT!!!! that movie is EVERYTHING!!!

      p.s. i love hugh too. ill watchin him in a cardboard box for 2hrs.

  • Reply Starita34 May 18, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    This is just for James
    *Scatters spite sprinkles all around this joint*
    Eff yo battery son

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 6:28 pm

      lmao @ star. you are soooooo evil!!!!!!

      • Reply Starita34 May 18, 2011 at 6:32 pm

        *sharpens horns*
        Lil old me?
        >:-)

    • Reply The Heavy Weight Lover May 18, 2011 at 6:57 pm

      Lol. I had to make a pit stop at home before I went out because of this blog but it was worth it.

      • Reply Starita34 May 18, 2011 at 8:25 pm

        *cackles loudly while rubbing her hands together furiously*
        My plan is working 😉

      • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 11:35 pm

        of course it was worth it!! thanks for participating 🙂

  • Reply Slim Jackson May 18, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    This is an excellent piece. She actually said something very similar.

    It’s cool to be hopeful but still know what reality is. People always ask me about my thoughts on romance and I end up asking a bunch of questions in return because I always just think of the movies. Ehh…I think I have a blog post idea.lol.

    • Reply Starita34 May 18, 2011 at 8:26 pm

      “This is an excellent piece. She actually said something very similar.”

      I’m so ashamed of how long it took me to get this…
      *hangs head and turns in Pervert card for the rest of the night*

      • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 11:40 pm

        damn star, im disappointed #thatswhatgemsaid

    • Reply gemmieboo May 18, 2011 at 11:39 pm

      This is an excellent piece. She actually said something very similar.

      thanks. and nice lol

      People always ask me about my thoughts on romance and I end up asking a bunch of questions in return because I always just think of the movies.

      havent you ever done something romantic for a woman?? do you desire to put a smile on a woman’s face outside of putting in work between the sheets?? women dont ask you what you think romance is in theory–they wanna know in PRACTICE and if you are a romancing kinda dude.

  • Reply Am I Romantic? Ask Her. | The Real Slim Jackson May 18, 2011 at 8:34 pm

    […] was reading an eloquently worded post on the homie GEM’s blog titled I Believe in Romance Movies. You can probably guess what it was about since GEM is a woman. I mean…chicks like romance […]

  • Reply Romancing Your Man | max-logic May 19, 2011 at 12:03 am

    […] I read a post by the beautiful @GemoftheOcean where she talked about being deprived of romance. I totally felt her on it, because I’ve […]

  • Reply Wamuyu May 19, 2011 at 12:50 am

    …… I still desire to have a love that is unquestionably real and free. Because above all else, a movie-romance type of love to me is one that *symbolizes* an uninhibited approach to love, throwing caution to the wind, falling head first into an emotional whirlpool with reckless abandon. I want a romance where love isn’t afraid to show me its face. I want a romance that is willing to look ridiculous, even at the expense of its dignity. I want a romance that hits all 5 of my senses. I want a romance that regards me as its prized possession. I want…. a movie romance. <<< that right there is the gospel truth to every woman on earth!! sure we are all different, but deep down, as a woman, we all want to know we are loved and truly appreciated by those we give our hearts out to – is that soo much to ask for?

    • Reply gemmieboo May 20, 2011 at 1:47 am

      sure we are all different, but deep down, as a woman, we all want to know we are loved and truly appreciated by those we give our hearts out to – is that soo much to ask for?

      apparently it is lol. but i think we, as women, have to be more willing to vocalize the things we want to see in our relationships. and maybe we have to actually ASK for some romance. some men just dont know or get it

  • Reply s0flyy May 19, 2011 at 9:56 am

    “…a movie-romance type of love to me is one that *symbolizes* an uninhibited approach to love, throwing caution to the wind, falling head first into an emotional whirlpool with reckless abandon. I want a romance where love isn’t afraid to show me its face. I want a romance that is willing to look ridiculous, even at the expense of its dignity.”

    Soooo… why am i just discovering that Gem has a blog? *sigh* Always tardy to the party… however, it must’ve been meant for me to be tardy b/c this post is a winner. And THAT quote is now hanging above my cpu at work. This was wonderful Gem and i feel you! I think the only time I experienced romance was in college. I had the blessing to be w/ 1 very, very romantic guy and the other who could pull out the stops when he wanted.

    I remember one Vday everyone asking what he’d gotten me b/c they knew he’d do it big. And I hadn’t received ANYTHING… all day. Ugh. It was horrible. Not because I hadn’t gotten anything per se but b/c EVERYONE kept asking. So by dinner time (in the cafe in front of our friends) i’d started to poke w/ him and tell them all that obviously he didn’t believe in Vday and to stop asking me! When I got off the elevator (i lived above the cafe! oh yea. freshman forty lol) there was a trail rose petals from the elevator to my room… open the door, flower petals everywhere and the best montage of Vday gifts I have yet to receive. He’s was a winner for that. Lol.

    In my adult life, which started approx 4 years ago… nothing as grand, a small gesture here or there. Men seem to be a little less about that life. *shrugs*

    • Reply gemmieboo May 20, 2011 at 1:50 am

      Soooo… why am i just discovering that Gem has a blog? *sigh* Always tardy to the party… however, it must’ve been meant for me to be tardy b/c this post is a winner. And THAT quote is now hanging above my cpu at work. This was wonderful Gem and i feel you!

      thanks for reading!!! i appreciate the love 🙂

      your VDay story does sound quite romantic. when you LEAST expect romance–there it is!!! love it!

      In my adult life, which started approx 4 years ago… nothing as grand, a small gesture here or there. Men seem to be a little less about that life.

      yeah, judging from the comments, most of us in our adult lives havent met a man willing to bring it on *smh* i have hope though!!

  • Reply Cheekie May 19, 2011 at 10:30 am

    I still need to see “Easy A”, but if I said I didn’t want AT LEAST one of those Love Actually moments to happen to me in real life, I’d be a lyin’ fool.

    Love Actually 4 Lyfe!

  • Reply Euphoric Ears May 19, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    Serendipity is another dope romance flick

  • Reply Romancing Your Man May 20, 2011 at 6:57 am

    […] tweetmeme_style = 'compact'; tweetmeme_service = 'bit.ly'; Share Email ThisThe other day I read a post by the beautiful @GemoftheOcean where she talked about being deprived of romance. I totally felt her on it, because I’ve almost […]

  • Reply Love Is In The Air « Euphoric Ears June 2, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    […] on Valentine’s Day.   I recently did e-flips when the homie Gem, created a post entitled “I Believe In Movie Romances”.  I could barely contain myself as I quoted my favorite romantic movies  that I love so very […]

  • Reply The Lost Art of Love Letter Writing « That's What GEM Said June 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    […] be real, it is the romantic in me. And judging from many of the responses on my post about movie romances, as well as my brief convo about love letters on twitter yesterday, I am not the only one with this […]

  • Reply Popular Christmas Gifts November 17, 2011 at 2:40 am

    Popular Christmas Gifts…

    […]I Believe In Movie Romances « That's What GEM Said[…]…

  • Reply Echo September 21, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    I loved Easy A, but my experiences with the “movie romance” thing has mostly been from guys that turned out to be controlling, jealous, physically & verbally abusive. The romance came on fast, and always seemed more about the show of it than any real feeling behind it. Like in the absence of actually being able to feel real love for another person, they just went over the top with the hollywood version.

    • Reply gemmieboo September 21, 2012 at 3:49 pm

      🙁 thats so unfortunate, E!

      i haven’t had much romance. but i like it IN ADDITION to having healthy “normal” relationship stuff. its nice to have enhance an already good relationship. but romance cant ever substitute for a person’s love and respect.

      thanks for the comment!

  • Reply Being on HuffPost Live & Revisiting Romance « That's What GEM Said September 24, 2012 at 9:37 am

    […] to be part of the discussion because one of the associate producers, Kat, read my post, “I Believe In Movie Romance“!!!! SUPER awesome, right?? Y’all know I love me a good (or bad lol) rom com and I […]

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