Around 5 o’clock this past Monday morning, I reluctantly rolled out of bed to take my Boo Piece1 to the airport. He had an early flight out of town for new hire job training. Usually, my reluctance towards early morning airport runs is born out of waking from peaceful slumber before my 8hr beauty rest is complete. But this time, my grudging affect to send the BP away from this city stemmed from the realization that it was the beginning of a long distance relationship.
Granted, a long distance relationship isn’t the end of the world. He’s only moving about 300mi away and it would be fairly easy for us to travel back and forth to see each other on weekends. And though many people I know have mixed feelings on the effectiveness of LDRs, the general consensus is this: if you really care about some one, you can make the relationship work, despite the distance. It could be worse, right?2
The thing is…. this 300mi separation is coming right in the midst of the “honeymoon” phase of our relationship.
You see, the BP and I have only been dating for about 3mos. It’s still early! We met on New Year’s Eve, thanks to the match making of the Champ and Lady Champ, and instantly hit it off. After initial conversations spanning over approx. 15hrs (yes, almost half a day), I knew he would be different from all the other wrong men I had dated previously. I sensed he was some one I could trust with my thoughts, my feelings, and potentially my heart. How serendipitous that I’d meet the RIGHT guy at the right time. God was lookin’ out for a sista.
Since first meeting, for the most part, we’ve spent just about every day together. We are the quintessential two peas in a pod. We’re together so much that he is completely integrated into my groups of friends. Most of my friends even have silly nicknames for him and question when he’s not at my side at any given moment. Though some have commented that we were “moving fast,” I think we were simply going with the flow. We’re two individuals who know what we want and need and openly express it. In less than 12 weeks we’ve managed to build a solid foundation for a relationship. But I recognize that we still have a ways to go.
So imagine the distress his new job in another city has brought me so early in our courtship. I’ve had numerous calls, texts, and tweets asking me if I’m OK, since most of my close friends know of the situation (my peeps are so sweet!). After almost 7yrs of living single and having kissed many frogs (that turned into pricks instead of princes), and I have to now detach my new found BP from my hip and make room for the entire state of Pennsylvania to stand between us. Ain’t that a blip? *sigh*
Despite being a bit sad about the undesirable nature of living in two different cities, I am happy to support the BP in his career endeavors. I would never want to substitute him not fulfilling his goals just to have him around to hug me 7 days a week. I value his ambitions and his proactive role in reaching them. If the shoe were on the other foot and I had a great job opportunity that would move me to another city, I’d damn sure take it and I know he’d support me in my decision. At the end of the day, “we both on assignment to unearth the diamond” (c) Mos Def. And having to move through space and time without the other always at our side is just the collateral damage.
I’m definitely sad to see my BP leave and I will miss him more than I could ever express in this post. Hell, I already feel separation anxiety and he’s only been gone less than 48hrs (and is coming back for a few days next week). But I’m committed to making this LDR work. He’s worth it, our relationship’s worth it. We can do this. It’s just space… and opportunity.
Pray for me. Because Lawd knows I don’t have the time, patience, or energy to find another man, yall! Lol jk… but not really 😉
So… what are your thoughts on LDRs? Do you think it’s too soon in my relationship with the BP to be worried about living in 2 different cities? Any takes on if/when I’ll buckle to the pressure and snap? If you were my employer, would you give me some time off because i was boo-piece-sick?
Me and him us never part?
~Gemmie, Da Da
1Boo Piece–I first heard this on VSB a few years ago by one of the blog’s [then] frequent male commenters. I used to think it was a retched way to describe a “lady friend” and I often used it in hoodrat jest. I’ve since grown quite found of the term and now use it to describe my honey 🙂
2I HATE this expression. Yes, any and everything could be worse. That doesn’t make it any better.