dating + love

He’s Leavin… On a Jet Plane…

March 30, 2011

God willing he’s coming back to me, his baby boo…

Around 5 o’clock this past Monday morning, I reluctantly rolled out of bed to take my Boo Piece1 to the airport. He had an early flight out of town for new hire job training. Usually, my reluctance towards early morning airport runs is born out of waking from peaceful slumber before my 8hr beauty rest is complete. But this time, my grudging affect to send the BP away from this city stemmed from the realization that it was the beginning of a long distance relationship.

Granted, a long distance relationship isn’t the end of the world. He’s only moving about 300mi away and it would be fairly easy for us to travel back and forth to see each other on weekends. And though many people I know have mixed feelings on the effectiveness of LDRs, the general consensus is this: if you really care about some one, you can make the relationship work, despite the distance. It could be worse, right?2

The thing is…. this 300mi separation is coming right in the midst of the “honeymoon” phase of our relationship.

You see, the BP and I have only been dating for about 3mos. It’s still early!  We met on New Year’s Eve, thanks to the match making of the Champ and Lady Champ, and instantly hit it off. After initial conversations spanning over approx. 15hrs (yes, almost half a day), I knew he would be different from all the other wrong men I had dated previously. I sensed he was some one I could trust with my thoughts, my feelings, and potentially my heart. How serendipitous that I’d meet the RIGHT guy at the right time. God was lookin’ out for a sista.

Since first meeting, for the most part, we’ve spent just about every day together. We are the quintessential two peas in a pod. We’re together so much that he is completely integrated into my groups of friends. Most of my friends even have silly nicknames for him and question when he’s not at my side at any given moment.  Though some have commented that we were “moving fast,” I think we were simply going with the flow. We’re two individuals who know what we want and need and openly express it. In less than 12 weeks we’ve managed to build a solid foundation for a relationship. But I recognize that we still have a ways to go.

So imagine the distress his new job in another city has brought me so early in our courtship. I’ve had numerous calls, texts, and tweets asking me if I’m OK, since most of my close friends know of the situation (my peeps are so sweet!). After almost 7yrs of living single and having kissed many frogs (that turned into pricks instead of princes), and I have to now detach my new found BP from my hip and make room for the entire state of Pennsylvania to stand between us. Ain’t that a blip? *sigh*

Despite being a bit sad about the undesirable nature of living in two different cities, I am happy to support the BP in his career endeavors. I would never want to substitute him not fulfilling his goals just to have him around to hug me 7 days a week. I value his ambitions and his proactive role in reaching them. If the shoe were on the other foot and  I had a great job opportunity that would move me to another city, I’d damn sure take it and I know he’d support me in my decision. At the end of the day, “we both on assignment to unearth the diamond” (c) Mos Def. And having to move through space and time without the other always at our side  is just the collateral damage.

I’m definitely sad to see my BP leave and I will miss him more than I could ever express in this post. Hell, I already feel separation anxiety and he’s only been gone less than 48hrs (and is coming back for a few days next week). But I’m committed to making this LDR work. He’s worth it, our relationship’s worth it. We can do this. It’s just space… and opportunity.

Pray for me. Because Lawd knows I don’t have the time, patience, or energy to find another man, yall! Lol jk… but not really 😉

So… what are your thoughts on LDRs? Do you think it’s too soon in my relationship with the BP to be worried about living in 2 different cities? Any takes on if/when I’ll buckle to the pressure and snap? If you were my employer, would you give me some time off because i was boo-piece-sick?

Me and him us never part?
~Gemmie, Da Da

1Boo Piece–I first heard this on VSB a few years ago by one of the blog’s [then] frequent male commenters. I used to think it was a retched way to describe a “lady friend” and I often used it in hoodrat jest. I’ve since grown quite found of the term and now use it to describe my honey 🙂
2I HATE this expression. Yes, any and everything could be worse. That doesn’t make it any better.

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  • Reply DQ March 30, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    My take on LDRs has changed over the years. First I could do it, then I couldn’t, then I could again. Maybe it’s the women that’s making me change my position or maybe I’m just too d@mn mercurial (or maybe it’s both). In can work, just depends on the participants.

    Is too soon to be worried about the distance? Perhaps. I tend to think that when you get time away from your Boo-Lovin-Thang (what you would call Boo Piece) that it’s time you should use wisely on self-development. Seriously. Take advantage of your free time.

    Will you buckle? Depends on what Buckling means.

    If I was your employer would I give you time off because you were jonesing for your Boo piece? No. I’d remind you that it’s hard out there for a pimp, when you’re trying to get that money for the rent. I probably wouldn’t even have to finish the whole chorus before you came to your senses and got that cover sheet on your TPS reports.

    • Reply gemmieboo March 31, 2011 at 9:44 am

      i think its safe to say that the right person will make you want to go the extra mile (literally) for them and the wrong person will make you want to swear off LDRs. so i agree, it takes the right 2 ppl to make a relationship work, esp when added stresses (like distance) are in the mix.

      i LOVE boo-lovin-thang!!!! im gonna add that to my repertoire. but again, i agree that the distance will give us both time to handle our respective business (hes got an exam to take, i have a dissertation to finish). and i know we’d both be more productive apart than together. so free time to ourselves is potentially the best thing for this particular time.

      lmao @ TPS reports. well seeing as how i have free reign to come and go as i (mostly) please, approved time off isnt really needed. besides, ive got other more emotional reasons why i may need some time off any way.

      thanks for the feedback DQ!!!!!!!!!

  • Reply keisha brown April 22, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    i meant to respond to this (and send you a pvt note) eeeeeeons ago. im sorry for the uuber delay.

    where to even begin.

    my name is keisha brown and i am a recovering ldrelationshipper.
    while our circumstances are different (mine were by choice and never started off local), i’ve been through it none-the-less. (and a lot further).

    they are doable, but they require THE most amount of patience and strength. and trust. and communication. you have to know yourself and your limitations. you must be honest with that you can and cannot handle. the other person must know these things as well and you have to be on the same page (because you dont date ld without thinking about the long-term).

    while people cite the cons, there are some pros to a ldr. but i realize that it depends on you. im a person who values when a man communicates with me (via phone, txt, im, etc..). ldrs explicitly encourage this.

    this is a major relationship game changer, so it’s not too early to be worried about it. it was unexpected and will show you both a lot of things. people take a lot of things for granted when they are a mere 15 minutes away.

    and no, i wouldnt give you time off either. lol.

    • Reply gemmieboo April 25, 2011 at 10:39 am

      thanks for the feedback, kb. the tables have turned and the cause to be worried was justified. but, i’ve learned a lot and am ready to move forward with any other situations that may lead to LDRs in the future.

  • Reply SmartFoxGirl May 5, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    As you know, I was in a long distance relationship for almost 3 years and tough is an understatement. He was 300 miles away too. My best advice is to take full advantage of the weekends as well as skype skype skype. Skype literally saved us for a while. It’s hard because you’re tired when you get home and want to relax but it’s worth it. LDRs are much more work than close range relationships. It takes alot of faith and patience like KB said. You can doooo it. *high kick*

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