foolishness sports

Gem’s NFL Week 7 “Best Week Ever” Recap

October 27, 2010

Lorenzo just.... stop. You're tired and you're lame (literally).

Admittedly, I had a difficult time writing a recap this week. Perhaps I’m still wallowing in the anger stage of grief or I’m just over worked and don’t have the mental capacity to be witty and fun 3 times in a row. Thanks to @ethiopianboy I had some inspiration to draw from at the last minute.

Nonetheless, this was quite an interesting week of football (OK, so they ALL are). The NFL’s new hitting rules exposed just how big a p*ssies some players can be as evidenced by some of the weak and even missed hits I witnessed in almost every game. These guys act as if they were incapable of playing the same hard hitting, LEGAL football they’ve been taught to play. Playing smart isn’t the same as playing like a b*tch so–MAN UP!

Now, for your NFL moments of Zen…

The We Still Don’t Believe You Bowl

  • Garrard being taken out the game definitely gave KC the advantage to go in for the kill. The jury’s still out on whether or not the Chefs are true contenders or deserve a show on the Food Network for cooking up one helluva okie doke.

The Drive Andy Reid Bat Sh*t Crazy Bowl

  • Looks like Ricky Bobby’s dad some oldie but apparently goodie backup QB marinated in Bengay all week because he sho did drop down and got his Eagle on and put Philly to shame.
  • Sorry, Kolb, but if you’re not first you’re handing your job back over to Ron Mexico and sent to saddown in the FML corner.
  • @PMSing247: Vick mad! He debating on buying 2 pits this evening or not…..

The Who Authorized This Bowl

  • BMore may have beaten a winless team and BW3 > Buffalo Bills, but I respect the Bills game. Not even Killer Ray and the possibility of being carried off to a boarded-up row house scared the Bills out of having the top passer, rusher, and receiver of the game. I think they’re better than most of the 1-5/1-6 teams. I predict they take down Los Tigres in a few weeks. #YouHeardItHereFirst
  • @JeauxAlejandro: The Bills out here on Opposite Day. Wow.

The Embarrass the SB Champs Bowl

  • The Browns (yes, the Browns) beat the defending champs in convincing fashion. The Browns’ (yes, the Browns) defense son’d the hell out of the Saints by doing nothing but being the Browns (yes, the Browns). Nuff said.
  • No, wait, there’s more…. While the pitiful rookie McCoy only put a measly 74 passing yds on the board, Brees goes up on the wall of shame with 4 INTs. Tsk tsk tsk.
  • P.S. The only way for NOLA to get their mojo back is to return Kim to Reggie. Trust me, this is the ONLY way to restore the winning WHODAT balance.

The Turnover Bowl

  • The Skins and Bears were in a gritty, me-me-me battle to figure out whose offense was worse. Warrior Jay Cutler made sure Da Bears won that fight by throwing 4 INTs to DeAngelo Hall. Jay–how does it feeeeeel? After the game, Carlos Rogers was heard asking Hall, “You’re allowed to catch those??”
  • Skins backup QB Grossman, had this to say after the game “Chicago, how my ass taste?”
  • @Stareagle: If Jay Cutler’s wife asks him to pass the salt at dinner tonight, DeAngelo Hall will intercept it.
  • @sportsguy33: I’m not kidding – this Redskins-Bears game is so bad that I think it just gave Troy Aikman a concussion. Is that possible?
  • @josephedwards: That football must be covered with jermaine jacksons hairgrease. This is the sloppiest game I’ve ever seen

The Receiver Showdown Bowl

  • The spotlight was definitely not on the not-so-dynamic duo since White stole the show.
  • That said, there’s something very prophetic about Batman and Robin being reality TV stars on a network notorious for showcasing washed up celebrities. Sadly, TOcho putting up more numbers on field than their combined viewer ratings was no match for that ATL stomp.
  • @garyowencomedy: T.O. pushed that black db away like he pushes those black women away.

The Underachieving in South Beach Bowl

  • Miami has managed to win ALL their away games and none of their home games. See what happens when you take your talents to South Beach? You get punk’d.
  • Sidenote: Am I the only one who thought that if there had been a bathroom sign and a drunken sorority girl at the goal line that Big Ben would have undoubtedly scored? No. Ok, nevermind…

The Race to Not Be Last Bowl

  • Carolina got their first win against a team who got their first win just last week. Now they’re tied for 2nd to last place along with De Lions. Please excuse me while I try to contain my excitement (o_O).

The STFU Bowl

  • Overlooking actual facts and standings, Raheem Morris declared the Bucs the best team in the NFC after their win over the Ram, I repeated, the RAMS. Riiiiiight (o_O). And 50 Tyson is the King of Football Playing Rappers, #doe. I ain’t gon lie but… Raheem, you need more people.

The Irrelevant Bowl

  • Seahawks beat the Cards. Aaaaaaand that’s it. People continue to go about their lives and not care about either team.

The Perfect Weather Bowl

  • Tis true–the Bolts need to be recharged. They keep f*cking around with Duracell when everyone knows Energizer keeps the party goin… and going… and going.
  • Despite having the top passing yds, total offense AND total defense (yes, you read that right), the Chargers manage to be the most tragic team in the league. And we all know what happens when you combine exceptional talent, clueless leadership, and squandered opportunities… they’re commonly known as “Tyler Perry films.”
  • @sportsguy33: “Dear Norv: Here’s our official resignation letter again. Please take it this time, we are not kidding. Sincerely, the Chargers.”

The Who’s Your Daddy Bowl:

  • Jason “Why-The-Hell-Did-The-Redskins-Waste-A-First-Round-Draft-Pick-On-Him” Campbell and Company were back in business (word to E-40) against one of Snoop’s pop warner teams. Oh wait, that was the Broncos? My bad.
  • Josh McDaniels is apparently purposefully trying to crash and burn the Broncos so a Christ-like savior (the Almighty Tebow?) can deliver them from the ashes. Perhaps McDaniels should ask Kanye if he could borrow Selita, the Runaway Phoenix. Once he figures out the hell the “Runaway” is.

The Sick & Shut-In Bowl:

  • Despite GB missing half of its team due to injuries, the decaying Favre managed to find plenty of Packers to throw to. Guess The Four wanted to show his former team a little love and appreciation.
  • At least A Rodge can tell his mom he beat a 1-legged, 41 year old perv. #winning

The Beat A Dead Horse Bowl:

  • If it wasn’t clear before, the Cowboys are done. And the nail in the coffin? Kitna as starting QB next week—yikes!  Somewhere Wade Phillips is eating his feelings while Jerry Jones is getting surgery to get his face to express disappointment.
  • @BlkSportsOnline Cowboys are going straight Roberto Duran…#nomas

Final thoughts?? The #iNFLception is back in full effect and taking prisoners!!!

  • @PGH_Pirate: #Ravens are getting raped by the #Bills and the #Browns are stomping on the #Saints! #SomethingsNotRight
  • @thetillshow: Colt McCoy bodied the champs. Bills hang w/ the Ravens. Chiefs put up 40 on JAX. The end is near.

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  • Reply Wu Young October 27, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    That’s 50 Tyson huh? Just had to click the link didn’t I. Eff you, you tube I remember why I hate you.

    Anyway, it seems like there aren’t any good teams in the NFL this year. Everyone is mediocre.

    • Reply gemmieboo October 27, 2010 at 11:06 pm

      50 tyson goes hard!!! dude is bout to blow up doe. real soon doe. when he turns whatever year comes after 16.

      i dont agree on EVERYONE being mediocre. but the majority certainly are.

  • Reply Wu Young October 27, 2010 at 11:13 pm

    Is that Tyson kid slow or something? I want to laugh but Tao is not to laugh at the mentally disabled. *I’m not a total monster.*

    The Steelers could be dangerous when Mr. McFeely settles in at QB. The bulk of the league is being dominated by unimportant story lines like Brett and the Cowboys so my attention is wavering.

    • Reply gemmieboo October 27, 2010 at 11:21 pm

      if you take a look here around 4:30 you can get your answer to your 50 tyson question lol. as a warning: he can make that a*s disappear. #justsayin

      the steelers passing defense needs to get their ish together before they can be “dangerous”. Big Ben will be fine.

  • Reply Wu Young October 27, 2010 at 11:25 pm

    I’ll pass. I can’t watch any more of this kid. He’s no Eli Porter.

  • Reply keisha brown October 27, 2010 at 11:36 pm

    Playing smart isn’t the same as playing like a b*tch so–MAN UP! <–A ***** MEN!!! da hell!!! TACKLING IS FUNDAMENTAL!!!!

    it isnt so easy being witty AND keeping track of all the games now is it!!! lol.

    im just playin. you are awesome! i love the bowls. mostly because some of them sound like actual BCS bowl games. #boycottingcfbtilarealplayoffsystem #teamlonghashtags

    i give this post 4 todems shaped like footballs out of 5!

    • Reply gemmieboo October 28, 2010 at 10:05 am

      hold up hold up hold up–i never claimed it was easy or even had a desire to do this!!! YOU’RE the one who insisted. not once but twice! and beyond! i blame you. this is not what i signed up for!

      i dont watch college fball but i do think the whole institution is some bull. i feel bad for these kids who play. they get shafted!!

      • Reply keisha brown October 28, 2010 at 12:54 pm

        tee hee.
        there is more to being the Hi-C than picking teams and winning pools! ha!

  • Reply N.I.A.naturally October 28, 2010 at 9:29 am

    The Dallas Cowgirls belong at the bottom with Carolina, Detroit, and SanFran. Romo and the boys are 1-5. Granted, you did mention them later in the post, I figure they are even bigger losers than those 3 because people actually expected the Cowboys to be a good team. And they should be with all of that talent. smh…

    • Reply keisha brown October 28, 2010 at 9:48 am

      and as my sis points out: last yr Owens was the problem? what’s the problem now?

      i got some ideas:
      the owner
      the head coach
      the offensive coordinator
      the qb
      the offensive line
      the stadium
      the fans
      the qb
      the qb
      the qb
      the entire state of texas.

      ok.. one of those maybe not so much. HA!

      • Reply Wu Young Agent of M.E. October 28, 2010 at 9:57 am

        As a fan of craptastic football team I will add to KB’s list of the Cowboys problems.

        An overly inflated sense of self worth.
        Living in the past.
        The Eagles
        The Redskins
        The Giants

      • Reply gemmieboo October 28, 2010 at 11:10 am

        indeed. but what else is an overrated team that is constantly in the spotlight undeservedly gonna say?? that THEY are the problem?? not likely.

      • Reply keisha brown October 28, 2010 at 12:55 pm

        i approve Wu’s list.
        (said with bias of an eagles fan). lol.

    • Reply gemmieboo October 28, 2010 at 11:08 am

      eh, i dont think they’ve got that much talented. theyre just decent. even on paper they’re not that impressive.

    • Reply That Damn African October 28, 2010 at 11:44 pm

      The Cowgirls being 1-5 makes me so happy. Just filled with glee. This is probably (so far) the best season I’ve ever experienced as a Redskins fan (sad, but true).


  • Reply N.I.A. naturally October 28, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    I think they have very talented individuals. That talent seems to just disappear when they come together.

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