foolishness sports

Gem’s NFL Week 6 “Best Week Ever” Recap

October 20, 2010

Caution: Harrison hurts people... real bad.

That’s right! Another edition of the NFL’s “Best Week Ever” brought to you by the truly outrageous and DJ Green Bay. Follow along…

  • What an intense and BRUTAL week of football!!!! In all seriousness, I pray for the well-being of these players. And hopefully the NFL will properly and effectively address the issue of these gruesome trauma-inducing hits.
  • Last week’s K. Kolb: #FML (re: worry of getting benched again once Vick gets better). THIS week’s K. Kolb? *cues Three 6 music“Slob on my Kolb / Give me back my job / Bench Michael Vick / Or I’ll fight him like a dog”
  • Andy Reid has quite the dilemma on his hands. Who will be the chosen one now?? My solution? Rock, paper, scissors—best 3 out of 5 gets to start.
    • @BlkSportsOnline Vick = Super Model who can’t cook & might leave you stranded in Jail . Kolb = Will always have your bail money & lunch ready but not as sexy
  • Though the young Colt (o_O) gave it a good ol college try, he and his squad were no match for the return from the bathroom of Big Ben, the head-hunting Harrison, and the Terrible Towel waving fans of Heinz stadium. Definitely gunning for a 7th SB win for the City of Champions.
  • Sidenote: Am I the only one who is more afraid of Harrison’s cross-eyed death stare than his actual potential to cause massive body trauma?
  • Chi City may have had tried to fool us early on with a good record, but we can see clearly now, the rain is gone. Berenstain bears > Da Bears
  • Seattle must have one helluva Applebee’s (with a helluva day-cor) for Marshawn to frequent. It’s the little things in life that matter…
  • A-Rodge, the people’s champ, couldn’t beat the Phins without his tag team partner (and my cousin) Clay Matthews. The Dolphins continue to steal close games. Those sneaky bastards.
  • Giants [barely] beat D Lions. Yikes. On the bright side, the Georgia Peach Matt Stafford will be back next week (o_O).  Too bad he is not good at football. Meanwhile, Eli is not good at looking like he doesn’t ride a short yellow school bus. #ShawtBusShawty.
  • In true com back fashion, NOLA made TB say UUGGHH NA NA NA NA. Master Brees was back on his game, driving a No Limit tank right into Raymond James stadium. Get er done!
  • I don’t want to speak on the team that shan’t be named AKA the Voldebolts–effffffff!!! I don’t even have the energy to go IN on these fools anymore. Futile. But I’ll take a few deep yoga-like breaths to say this….
  • Dear AJ, please #killyoself. Preferably by drowning in a shallow pool of Sex Panther cologne, by Odeon. Oh, and take Norv with you. Kthxbye, Gemmie.
    • @sportsguy33 Just set a Google News alert for “Norv Turner fired.” I want the news instantaneously.
  • While I recognize being as inconsistent as possible despite quality and talented players is part of the Charger M.O., how do these bums lose to a team that got dismantled in a 44-6 blowout by the [then] winless DE-TROIT LIONS?!?!?! I mean… you have to TRY to fail so epically and tragically*smh*
  • Summed up? The Saint of Louis strapped on their ERRR Force Ones and got to stompin’ all up on the Saints of Diego. And my heart.
  • Hold up–remember that guy in the STLunatics who wore the stupid mask? Yeah, me neither.  Yet, he manages to hold more credibility than my Bolts. *hangs head in shame*
  • Speaking of irrelevant ninjas, can we all take a moment of silence for Junior Seau’s disappearing dignity and sanity that’s now wading in the waters of the Pacific? …………….. Amen.
  • I searched high and low to find the silver lining of the clouds releasing these weak a$s Bolts of embarrassment. Upside? They’ve come back from worse (see 1992 and 2008 seasons) so the playoffs aren’t actually THAT far-fetched. Downside? They’re. the. Chargers. *shrugs*
  • One N. Mexico team to get a Dub after being defeated last week. Somebody rockin’ knockin’ da boots, indeed.
  • Who knew #shotsfired wouldn’t in fact come from the Puple Pigeons of Bmore, but instead the harmless and stylish Bieber?? Wow, Biebs goin IN.
  • Brady’s response? Whipping his Bieber hair back and forth to provide the perfect winds for the game winning FG in OT.
  • San Fran beat the bad boys of the NFL for their first win this season. Congratulations! I knew you could do it–I bet on it (literally).
  • Despite a Jets win, looks like Revis Island has become a tropical paradise where WRs can bring the family, relax, and drink piña coladas.  At least he didn’t blow the game like the Denver DBs.  Nacho sends his thanks—muchas gracias.
    • @BlkSportsOnline Might as well put Kat Stacks on Revis Island cause everyone running through it eating his cornbread
  • I have a feeling LT–who was def having the BWE–was also thanking SD for forcing him to go on to bigger and BETTER things.
  • Favre almost lost his life beating the Cowgirls into submission. Some universal truths can be applied from a team losing to a decaying QB: #1 Cowsh*ts suck. #2 Romo’s girlfriend undoubtedly received a picture text from Lorenzo. #3 Cowsh*ts still suck. Season over.
  • What twitter says about MN over Dallas:
    • @sportsguy33 Romo + Favre are gonna have a coin flip at the 2 minute warning. Winner gets to blow the game.
    • @soulonice6: I’m officially at Stage Five of The Five Stages of Grief: acceptance
    • @edthesportsfan I’ve never heard so much attention paid to two pathetic, moribund, and decrepit 1-3 teams as Vikings-Cowboys. Yet I’m totally fascinated.
    • @IAMKRIS24: Cowboys fans around the globe are slicing their Aorta with a copy Dorrough’s new CD
  • Indy almost handed the Skins another W. At least the Manning face could take the day off, much to the relief of Reggie Wayne and Co.
  • That said, the Redskins inexplicably give every team a run for their money, even with the league’s worst WR corps, a backup RB, and a QB who was traded for a delicious can of Campbell’s chunky soup and a pair of tickets to the pending premiere of N-Secure (-_O).
    • @BlkSportsOnline McNabb very good qb over the years. But he has murdered so many gophers with those ground balls they have warrant out for him
  • Monday night’s game is usually the best way to get over a case of the Mondays. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!?!  *hear pin drop* Wait, who’s playing again? And they’re both starting backup QBs? Oh. Uh. Hmm.  I’d rather watch Dwight from RHOA run around in heels while carrying a football.  I’d rather take up knitting. I’d rather spend 5 minutes locked in a room with Snooki.
  • Oh, and… Chris Johnson– 2500 yards, really?? I suppose you’d also say Favre has a 10inch Wrangler Snake in those pants? Chile, please. Get thee the EFF outta here.

What did YOU think of this week’s games? Any fun and interesting observations to add to the collection? Holla at ya girl!

Yours Truly (and Outrageously),
~G.E.M., VP of Ops for the NAFTA NFL Pool

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14 Comments

  • Reply Wu Young Agent of M.E. October 20, 2010 at 8:21 am

    Effin’ Raiders and Gamecocks, ***making the Oscar the Grouch face***

    • Reply gemmieboo October 21, 2010 at 10:14 pm

      (o_O) @ the raiders. hmph!

  • Reply MadScientist7 October 20, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    james harrison is an ass. i want to hurt people not injure them my ass. smh. i don’t want to wish hurt on people but if someone hit him like he hits someone i wouldn’t feel bad.

    • Reply gemmieboo October 21, 2010 at 10:15 pm

      james harrison is an ass

      i WHOLEheartedly agree. he’s the biggest moron and the fact that people give him an outlet to express his opinion is mind blowing. smh.

  • Reply keisha brown October 21, 2010 at 12:23 am

    i love how this post only has the fellas in the comments.

    died at
    r that guy in the STLunatics who wore the stupid mask? Yeah, me neither. Yet, he manages to hold more credibility than my Bolts.

    and BlkSports tweet about Revis Island/Ket Skets. <–back to life. dies again.

    this week was brutal. i dont think you can change the rules. i do find it interesting that sir rodney harrison said on FNIA that he'd listen only if he got suspended, cuz fines wouldnt do anything. and lo and behold.. the players might wanna go have a lil chat with the dude.

    and isnt he the same guy that tried to defend his rep as the dirtiest player?????? e__O

    MNF..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    and it's VP of Football Ops. which is funny cuz what other kind of ops would you op for the NFL???

    that's all i gots that i havent already said. lol.
    the Hi-C

    • Reply gemmieboo October 21, 2010 at 10:19 pm

      LOL thanks as always for the love, kb. if it werent for your insistence, i wouldnt even be doing these recaps. youre the culprit behind all this!! *shakes fist at you*

      i actually agree with the nfl wanting to take more serious action on holding players accountable for the illegal hits theyre making. football is dangerous/brutal enough as it is, no need to go and blatantly try and cause more trauma. like, fall back playas.

      i think im in love with rodney harrison and therefore im unable (at this time) to speak against him. thank you and good night

      • Reply keisha brown October 22, 2010 at 12:15 pm

        lol. you can’t shake a fist at me..this is your calling. stop trying to fight it!! give the people what they want!! lol.

      • Reply gemmieboo October 24, 2010 at 3:24 pm

        what about what EYE want?!?!?! *throws hands up in exaggeration*

  • Reply Wu Young Agent of M.E. October 21, 2010 at 10:47 pm

    @Gemmie

    We’ve all got our crosses to bare! #thecoldwindisaraider

  • Reply Soula Powa October 22, 2010 at 9:29 am

    “Slob on my Kolb / Give me back my job / Bench Michael Vick / Or I’ll fight him like a dog”<—Flatline

    Dear AJ, please #killyoself. Preferably by drowning in a shallow pool of Sex Panther cologne, by Odeon. <— Annnnnnnd I'm back.

    And my 'Skins have cut down on the overpriced divas minus Fat Albert and hired a coach and GM with a clue. That is how they continue to stay in games.

    Good luck on Norv getting fired and please keep this going. Thanks.

    • Reply gemmieboo October 24, 2010 at 3:26 pm

      skins fan eh?? well all the times i choose your team in my pick em league, they disappoint me. so uh, eff the skins!!! hmph!

      and thanks for wishing us luck on the impeachment of the Norv. im diligently hoping for his downfall.

  • Reply Wu Young Agent of M.E. October 24, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    @Gemmie

    Rude-a@@ ninjette! Lady I’m a Raiders fan so “bare deez” isn’t the worst thing I’ll be called today!

    Who is your team?
    #thecoldwindisaraider

  • Reply Marie April 1, 2014 at 3:44 am

    Very good article. I’m facing many of these issues as well..

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