foolishness sports

Gem’s NFL Week 11 “Best Week Ever” Recap

November 26, 2010

"In your face. Literally. B*tch."

The downside to writing/posting my recaps so late in the week is that the next week of football has already started and I get confused *smh*. That said, #iNFLception has been curbed and the games are becoming a bit more predictable (not withstanding injuries sustained during games that changes the outcome). On the flip side, as has been said by many commentators before, there are NO dominant powerhouse teams this season. Now there are teams that have worked hard to suck and never come out of last place, but there are no teams that are heads above the rest. This disappoints me *smh*

This week isn’t as full of wit and humor. Sorry. Blame it on the alcohol my cold, sprained ankle, and Thanksgiving coma.

  • Miami was back to losing at home (what they know how to do best) with an embarrassing shutout by Da Bears *smdh*
  • Perhaps Da Bears are Fa Real, and stepping it up to prove all the Care Bears >>> Da Bears naysayers wrong . It just could happen, folks. #hideyakids #hideyawife
  • Let’s be honest—as well as the Raiders have been playing lately, they stood no chance in hades against the Stillers. The Burgh sure showed Oak-town that gold >>> silver.
  • Meanwhile, Big Ben didn’t throw a single INT (O_O) and Harrison continues to like to hurt people. Pit’s defense forced Campbell’s sorry tail out of the game. There’s no room for babies in a game for big boys.
  • In other news, Pit’s offense are punks for letting Seymour just up and b*tch slap Big Ben. Sure, Ben may have invited him back to the locker room bathroom for some “private time” after the game but an open-handed slap?! I agree with Wilbon—eff a suspension, there’s no way dude shoulda walked off the field without a cleet up his arse. Period.
  • Facebook status updates of a friend:
    • penalty on Roethlisberger 4 running 4 a 1st down and being a white quarterback on the 3rd Sunday of November 2010 (this is a new rule just created 2 minutes ago b4 the play started). half the distance 2 the goal line, automatic turnover 2 Oakland.
    • Penalty on McFadden of the steelers 4 scaring Gradkowski in2 falling on the ground b4 he was hit. the Steelers will begin their next drive @ the locker room door.
    • penalty 4 Isaac Redman, he looked like a runaway slave running 4 freedom and got the 1st down. He will give back the 1st down he stole from Oakland and will have his right foot removed……. oh, and automatic turnover.
  • As Nacho and San(An)tonio cemented their bond as a stellar last-minute-to-win-it pair in the league, the Jets beat the barely-holding-on N.Mexicans Texans.
  • If the Jets to play “likely to blow a lead at any moment to teams they should beat” football, they’ll have a helluva time in the playoffs.
  • P.S. Isn’t LT looking wonderful? I’m telling you, that stale, polluted NYC air is doing wonders for his health.
  • P.P.S. I would DIE, just DIE (of glee) if LT got a SB ring. Leaving SD worked for Brees, and maybe that’s the key to getting to the Promised Land. #justatheory
  • Just when you thought the Bengals had the W you in the bag, they reminded you why they’re called “The Bungles” and buckled at the thought of victory. Aaaaaand BILLS WITH A SECOND WIN!! *does the 2nd--to-last-place shuffle*
  • Welp, what can I say besides toldjuhso?? #kanyeshrug
  • For those of you who are slow, “Los Tigres” = the Bengals (who should more appropriately be called the Strays).
  • And you’re right TO, yall are terrible. Turruhbo, even. *smdh*
  • FIY-NA-LEE the damn Cowgirls win a home game in that expensive behind stadium!!! So what if it’s just over De Lions, let’s hear it for the home team!! *crickets & side-eyes*
  • Anyway… I’ve been pondering a lot about Dallas lately and I have to get this off my chest: Yall are a bunch of marks!! All year you’ve been playing like doo-doo and NOW you wanna make some effort. I feel bad for your fans because you don’t deserve their love and respect. You busters make me sicker than usual. #ToHellWithThee
  • Waka Flacco and the Purple Pigeon’s mighty defense unsurprisingly won the game for B-more over Carolina. All is right in the world. *sigh of relief*
  • The Chefs made a comeback from last week’s loss to prevail over the Cards, who got their 5th consecutive loss. The Chefs continue to beat beatable teams, but are still just a mediocre Western team *shrugs*
  • It took Vince Young (who ho’d up and acted like a lil b*tch, btw) to be taken out of the game for the Redskins to even have the opportunity to get a barely-made-it Dub over the Titans. McNabb had a decent game and regained some of the dignity he lost last week.
  • Insult to [literal] injury? Tennessee fans were booing their own team. That’s just rude. Fair weather fans for that azz #womp
  • Tweets:
    • @BlkSportsOnline McNabb is in to run the 2 min drill…I repeat McNabb is running the 2 min drill!!
  • Though Garrard threw 3 INTs (yikes!), the Jags prevailed over the fight-for-their-life Browns.
  • Hyphenated names never sounded particularly masculine to me (coming from someone whose school was full of professors with two last names) but that Jones-Drew sure is changing my perceptions.
  • GB put a hurting on Minny AGAIN. Dayum. The People’s Champ, A Rodge, did his thing with 4TDs (4 more than The Four *smdh*) and no INTs (1 less than The Four).
  • Dear Vikes, congrats on firing of Chilly. He was a weak link. You’re better off. And by “better off” I mean “still have no chance at making the playoffs but at least the team’s without a douche bag that no one respects.”
  • Dear Grampy Favre, just…. sitcho old arse down. For the rest of your life. You’re done. Career over. #SeeYaNextLifetime
  • Saints beat the Seahawks. The end.
  • No, wait, there’s more. Saints’ passing defense allowed 386yds, the most they’ve allowed all season. Hmmmm. Getting a little soft, are we Nawlins? #noLilFavre
  • Though Sam Bradford was having an awesome game as rookie QB, the Rams had little chance of fighting off a win for the Dirty Birds, who are very loosely holding on as the top team in the NFC South. ATL, NOLA and Tampa are comin for that a$s, beware.
  • In the QBlack on QBlack Bowl, the 9 ers became the second team this week to get shut out and beat down (the black on black violence has got to stop ppl!) by the team that can’t count Bucs. However, unlike the Chi vs Mia game, this outcome came as no big surprise., I’m sure.
  • P.S. Why is Ronde Barber still playing football? He needs to be doing his familial duty and showing his twin how to make better life decisions (o_O).
  • Though my boo out played (by throwing for twice as many yards and twice as many TDs) Tom Beiber, he threw 3 INTs which undoubtedly cost the Colts the game. And undoubtedly prompted numerous showings of the Manning Face. Oh Peyton, woo woo woo, woo woo woo. It’s no you, it’s them.
  • While Brady and the Pats are on fire and have a good chance of clawing their way to an SB appearance, I have just one thing to say: F*ck the Patriots. Fin.
  • After an embarrassing loss to the Cowboys last week, the Giants couldn’t quite muster their inner champion to redeem themselves over the Eagles.
  • While Mike Vick wasn’t exactly like a “pit bull ready to be released from his cage” (lmao oh, DeSean) from Week 10, and had no TDs, he led his team to a victory that secured their 1st place spot in the NFC East.
  • Meanwhile, Eli Manning still looks like a pre-pubescent dweeb who is just begging to be stuffed into a locker. After throwing those 3 INTs, he just might.
  • Highlight of watching this SNF game? Watching ThatDamnAfrican squirm and cuss every time they showed highlights of what the Eagles did to his Skins, LOL.
  • *picture me delivering a powerful pelvic thrust after each word* BOLTS, B*THCES! RIVERS, B*TCHES! SPROLES, B*TCHES!
  • Why am I so fired up about a win over a team the Chargers SHOULD beat, you ask? Because they’re the Chargers, duh. And they were missing a star player, TE Gates. #letmebe #smallvictories
  • Texts from my brother (@bighomielou) during the game:
    • shawgers on MNF! they really need to avoid hoeing up… tonight we have a no ho zone at qualcomm
    • dont get too geeked up yet. there is still time and potential for hoeation
  • Tweets:
    • @edthesportsfan: Shoutout to @GemoftheOcean as she’s the only real Chargers fan I can say I actually know. Good luck to SD tonight.

Hope everyone had a HAPPY REMEMBER THE RAPE & PILLAGE OF THE NATIVES TO STEAL THEIR LAND TURKEY DAY!!!! Enjoy and be thankful for a weekend full of family, food, and football 🙂

Yours Truly (& Outrageously),

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  • Reply Wu Young Agent of M.E. November 26, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    The Steeler’s O-Line didn’t defend Ben because they want to punch him in the face too. Dick Seymour’s actions were just the universe’s way of putting rapey Ben in his place.

    Maybe Kanye should give Vince Young the name of his shrink…never mind. I feel sorry for Vince. His upbringing did not prepare him to deal with his environment or talk man-to-man for that matter. He’s messing up the Young family name. (What’s up with owners taking the side of idiot players these day?)

    Cherokee Sam Bradford is having a good year for a rookie qb.

    The Falcons and Packers should make for a good game this week too.

    The Raiders should handle Miami but we’ll see. #thecoldwindisaraider

    • Reply gemmieboo November 26, 2010 at 11:31 pm

      dont get it twisted–im not saying Ben doesnt deserve to be slapped around like a rag doll, and he flopped like a straight derek fisher beyotche, but as teammates you cant just let your team leader get pushed around like that. you look soft. i guess thats just how i was raised *shrugs*

      i dont feel sorry for young. he’s acting like a baby and now he’ll be treated like one.

      i need miami to step their game up and force an L for the raiders. gotta give my boy room to move up the ranks. #BoltsFTW

  • Reply Wu Young Agent of M.E. November 27, 2010 at 9:49 am

    The O-line should have defended Ben but they might be punks too.

    Vince is a baby. A six foot five baby which makes things worse.

    Maybe Miami will make a game of it with the wild cat, who knows.

    • Reply gemmieboo December 1, 2010 at 3:37 pm

      miami made my dreams come true 🙂

  • Reply keisha brown November 28, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    yeah..the not walking out on my walking out on YOU.
    I wish jeff fisher was jamaican so he could cuss vince in patois.

    oh and that eagles/giants game was torturous to watch as per usual.
    my. heart.

    i love the pelvic thrusts. i picture knee high gym socks and a 80’s headband. 😉

    • Reply gemmieboo December 1, 2010 at 3:39 pm

      lol sadly fisher probably doesnt even eat jamaican food. but he did son the hell outta young by saying “men talk face to face” #zing!

      if the Bolts make it to the conf championship, ill buy take a pic pelvic thrusting in knee high gym socks and an 80s headband. mark my words!

  • Reply Ivy St. November 30, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    I just want to make it clear that the Pats are about to get one mo superbowl ring. I can’t wait!! Go Pats! Even with Tom’s bad hair, the Pats are still putting in the work.

    • Reply gemmieboo December 1, 2010 at 3:36 pm

      iRebuke this statement in the name of harry potter and the deathly hallows!! hmph! *turns on heel*

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