Gem’s NFL (No Freakin Lockout) Week 6 Recap

October 20, 2011

Ahhh, the lost art of beating a half-dead horse who refuses to just die.

Welp…. There is soooo much to say about this week in football. So much has happened, on the field and [especially] off!!! Where do I begin???

The Recap
Big Wins

  • Raiders beat the Browns in Oakland on a day dedicated to the crypt keeper1 face of the franchise, Al Davis. So sweet, so touching *tear*
  • The Giants needed to restore their pride from last week’s loss against the Seahawks and took it out on my adopted-team, the Bills. Not gonna lie, this hurt my feelings a little bit.
  • The Steelers [barely] beat the Jags. This is a “big win” because, well, Mendenhall actually put in some damn work. And my fantasy team, for once, doesn’t regret starting him. o/
  • Bucs rally to beat the Saints, bouncing back from an embarrassing, anal-pounding loss to the 49ers last week. Still not convinced the Bucs aren’t mediocre.
  • In a wincing commotion of “Who’s My QB?”, the Eagles ended a 4-game losing streak against the Redskins. It was an ugly display of athleticism but, congrats(?) anyway Philly, I guess…
  • Who would have ever thunk that the 49ers would be the 1st team to deliver the Lions their 1st L this season?! In Detroit, no less! San Fran ain’t playin games!! Watch out  now!! #oww
  • Nevermind the ball being wrongly spotted by officials, giving 5 extra yards, on the game-winning drive. Minor details.
  • Da Bears beat the VIkings to a pulp, leaving nothing but McNabb’s withered talent and dignity to show for it. (more on McNabb later)
  • Who in the hell left the gate open forgot to give Minny the memo about Devin Hester?? I hope they watch his 98yd kick return for a TD film over and over to commit the “Never kick to Hester… EVER” rule to memory. Minny should add “be sure to kick that kicker’s ass” to the list too.

A Clash of Coaches

  • Among the injuries of the day was NO’s head coach Sean Payton literally getting his knee caps busted by one of his players and (in the same game) Bucs DB coach Jimmy Lake getting his knee cap busted doing a “we got an INT” happy dance. “It’s only fun until someone gets hurt” – Mama Gem
  • Meanwhile, Philly head coach Andy Reid’s walrus belly is getting punched by LeSean McCoy in excitement. Seeing the blubber jiggle in slo-mo, and Andy’s exasperated reaction is hilarious and gross all at the same time. “Must be jelly cuz jam don’t shake like that” – Black folk
  • By far, the highlight of the day was the Jim vs. Jim scuffle after the 49ers/Lions game. Harbough got waaay too crunk and overreacted. But I mean, if you gone start some mess, I personally would have liked to see some head bussin…
  • Sidenote: I think it’s a crock that the league didn’t sanction either coach. Players are held to all kinds of standards2 but coaches get a pass on rowdy behavior???(-_-) Oh.  Ok.
  • Off field, shots were fired when Rex Ryan said he’d have won SB rings for my hometown by now had the Bolts hired him back in 2007. Oh? Like the rings you promised your Jets, Rexy? Wait…. (o_O) *sigh* Rex, until you have a championship to justly talk ish,3 put a toe in your mouth and STFU.

QB Conundrums, Conquests and Catastrophes

  • Carson Palmer is a Raider! Wow! For me, kinda ruins the only positive—black QB/head coach partnership—thing going for this team but since I don’t root for them on principal anyway, it doesn’t matter… *kanye shrug*
  • Nacho thinks his piss poor performance (56.1 passer rating) against the “Suck for Luck” Dolphins means the Jets are “back on track.” *scratches head* Uhhh, ok. We’ll see about that.
  • Cam Newton ain’t the only rookie QB proving to be effective. Andy “Red Rifle” Dalton has been out there BALLIN! Sunday he had a passer rating of 111.5 (his 3rd time with a rating over 100). And unlike Newton, the “Ginger” is WINNING! o/
  • Before you lose faith in my man Fitzpatrick and his Bills, did you know that Fitzpatrick has only been sacked 3 times all year (compared to Brady’s 8 and A-Rodge’s 11 sacks)?? The Bills seem to actually like their QB enough to protect him. That’s an O-line I can get behind!! (<–see what I did there?)
  • McNabb had the nerve to tell reporters that he “had a lot of football left.” In a game of Madden perhaps. Donovan, I hate to say this but, if yo own mama can’t even stand to witness you get annihilated, what makes you think you can enlist the trust of other players? Not enough soup in the world to nurse you back to business. Sorry.
  • Quiet as it’s kept, Eli Manning is truly on a mission to make my boo Peyton proud of him. He’s got some solid stats (ranking 3rd behind A-Rodge and Brady). On top of the fact that he’s quite the prankster!  For some reason that makes him more likable to me. So the next time my mom jokingly refers to Eli as being my “brother in law,” I’ll actually be more welcoming and think of him fondly 🙂

The Fan Fare
What is your favorite thing about the NFL, beside the actual game?

Wu says: My absolute favorite thing about the NFL is fandom. Fandom knows no age, race, sex, class, or religion. It is powerful enough to shutdown the nation the first Sunday every February. It transcends geography– It doesn’t matter if your team is in Oakland, California and you live in Moosetwat, Saskatchewan your fandom is apart of who you are. That fandom makes reasonably sane adults love 53 people that will never reciprocate the feeling. It’s the fandom that keeps legions of people pining for “next year” whether your team succeeds or fails. You just can’t beat the feeling.

B says: The addiction. It’s a drug to us (or, at least to me). People weren’t just sad about the lockout; there was weeping and gnashing of teeth. Watching my team win sends me into euphoria and watching them lose sends me into depression. I can’t watch a game without screaming, jumping, cussing, air punching, or fist pumping. And like any good addiction, I’m sure I’ve decreased my life expectancy because of all the heart attacks and aneurisms I’ve endured (thanks Redskins), but I can’t stop myself.

Did I miss anything? Has anyone changed their mind about which winless team will break their losing streak first? Feelings about Palmer being a Raider? What’s going to happen to the Grossman-less Skins? Will the upcoming Jets and Bolts game end in a draw? Why hasn’t there been a MNF game worth watching?

Until next week…

1 Too soon? My bad… Bad gemmie *slaps hand*
2 Players get fined for things as silly as uniform violations and  “excessive” celebrations but coaches–the LEADERS and true professionals–knuckin and buckin suffer no repercussions?? I call bullshiggity.
3 Now, yall know I loathe Norv just as much as the next fan, and I must certainly would take Rexy over him ANY DAY. But you can’t be talking reckless with NO back up or follow through or evidence to support your claim. It just makes you sound like the moron you are.

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  • Reply madscientist7 October 20, 2011 at 8:39 am

    i hope beck is an improvement over grossman.

    tebow will win this week not because he’s better than orton but because they’re playing the horrible dolphins. fans and media will eat it up. -_-

    mcnabb should just quit. i won’t be mad at him.

    i’m glad carson is back in the league. the raiders are a real threat to do damage in the playoffs.

    • Reply gemmieboo October 20, 2011 at 11:38 am

      as long as Beck doesnt choke and is consistent, he would be a MAJOR improvement over King Gross

      idk about St. Tebow. the Broncos traded their best receiver (Lloyd) and the league’s leading receiver last year, to the Rams. yikes!! i cant tell whether the Broncos are purposely trying to sabotage him or Tebow is more anointed than any of us realized *shrug*

      the raiders are a real threat to do damage in the playoffs.
      sadly, i know. this worries me SMH

  • Reply panamaenrique October 20, 2011 at 9:10 am

    There is still the Josh Freeman/Raheem Morris tandem for Black QB/Coach. Palmer trade was asinine. Who wants a QB that was bullied by every offensive player he’s ever had in his career and never once stood up for himself?

    • Reply gemmieboo October 20, 2011 at 11:48 am

      There is still the Josh Freeman/Raheem Morris tandem for Black QB/Coach.
      yep. Pretty Raheem and Babyface Freeman. not sure how long this tag team will last doe…

      Palmer will either toughen up or disintegrate with his new Raider teammates. cant be a p*ssy in the Black & Silver. its just not the way.

  • Reply Wu Young October 20, 2011 at 9:12 am

    Still taking shots at the Silver & Black huh? I’m excited about Carson (Although I find Pete Carroll era Trojans who play offense to be suspect.) and I hope he does well but it’s the qb position so everything is a crap shoot. At least the Raiders will have a solid back up next year. I’m just glad they are back on track.

    The kerfuffle between the coaches is the most overblown NFL story since anything Tim Tebow has ever done.

    McNabb might be done or he needs a shrink. He always seemed to be a personable cat so I hope he gets it together. Besides Ponder is a rookie so McNabb will start again.


    • Reply gemmieboo October 20, 2011 at 12:00 pm

      Still taking shots at the Silver & Black huh?
      lol i told you last week was the only “off” week for them 😉

      At least the Raiders will have a solid back up next year. I’m just glad they are back on track.
      i much prefer to hate the Raiders when they’re playing well then when theyre doing terrible. its just much less fun to pick on.

      did you say kerfuffle?? lmbo!! i dont think it was overblown–it was a legitimate feud, btwn coaches no less. def news worthy. and the fact that neither of them were fined is just…. the double standards in the league are just MIND BLOWING.

      considering how McNabb responds to adversity and sh*tty games very strangely and inappropriately (like he’s in denial). a therapist might be just what that brotha needs.

  • Reply miss t-lee October 20, 2011 at 9:47 am

    “anal pounding” Gemmie?? Stop it goon! 🙂 I thought it was pretty wild that the coaches got racked up (injured), merely being on sidelines. Jim vs Jim was hilarity, it would’ve been even wilder had actual punches been thrown. And dayum, SNF didn’t have to show Mama McNabb peacing out on Donovan. I said the same thing “even she can’t watch this sh*t”…lol sadly I think it may be time for Donovan to “go home & be a family man” (as one of my twitter followers says). 🙂

    • Reply gemmieboo October 20, 2011 at 12:06 pm

      lol what? anal pounding seems like an accurate description!

      SNF film crew know they are WRONG for showing that!!! it will forever be on the books and on the innawebs. SMH but LOL

      i personally think McNabb should take up knitting….

  • Reply That Damn African October 20, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    Worst-case scenario: Beck will be as bad as Grossman. Best-case scenario: Beck will light it up and Shanahan will look like a genius. Most likely scenario: Beck will be mediocre-to-decent and won’t choke games away single-handedly. In any case, we have to draft a QB, and it doesn’t have to be Luck. Lots of good QBs coming out of this draft so I feel very good about the future.

    When I heard about the trade for Palmer all I could think about was “Here we go again, Jason Campbell.” I mean if Palmer looks good out there, I doubt they go back to Campbell once he’s healthy, especially after giving a first and possibly another for him.

    Kudos to Norval for firing cannons at Rex. Didn’t think he had it in him.

    Dear Donovan McNabb,

    Damn homie. In Philadelphia you was the man homie. The f*** happened to you?

    The Redskins Shoulda Neva Traded For You

    • Reply Wu Young, Agent of M.E. October 21, 2011 at 12:56 pm

      I finally saw Norval’s response to Rex and I loved it. That’s the best thing Norval has done in some time. I just think Rex is a fake tough guy who should quiet it up some.

    • Reply gemmieboo October 21, 2011 at 2:19 pm

      there are so many backup QBs comin in to “save the day” this season. so it’ll be interesting to see how they all work out, esp this week. i think beck will probably be as good as he needs to be to stay in the game. thats really all you can ask for at this point. if he turns out to be spectacular, good for the Skins. if not, eh we’ll go back to not caring about them LOL.

      and Palmer will probably do just fine.

      Norv def son’d Rex. and its the ONLY time i was ever on some “well played, sir” when it came to the Lord of No Rings.

      Damn homie. In Philadelphia you was the man homie. The f*** happened to you?

  • Reply nianaturally October 21, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    Carolina is right there. And, yeah Cam isn’t winning, but that’s isn’t all his fault. Hell, its not most of his fault. Can I get a D?!! How about someone who can take a punt/kickoff return further than the 20yd line. Man, we are right there, and I think we will win eventually this season. I’m just waiting until next season. Beason will be back, and we can draft some folks on the D side (corners!!!). Our potential is great. So, Imma chill, and just enjoy the sport.

    Poor Donavon. I’ve always liked McNabb, but I think its time for him to hang it up. Or, go to Oakland. It did wonders for Campbell. However, if Caron does well, Campbell will be yet another black QB out of a starting job. yeah, Donovan should consider an early retirement.

    Redskins have to draft a QB in the spring. Beck might do it this year, but I doubt it. And Grossman is Grossman, so yeah. Start looking now…

    Coaches not fighting? Eh, I wish they would have thrown blows, then the media would actually have something to talk about regarding those two.

    San Fancisco? I can barely recognize you… nice.

    • Reply Wu Young, Agent of M.E. October 21, 2011 at 12:54 pm

      The funny thing is that Oakland offered McNabb a trade when he was in Philly but he 86’d it. Oops.

      • Reply gemmieboo October 21, 2011 at 2:27 pm

        i think Donavan woulda been waaaaay to soft to hang with the Raiders. hes such a pushover.

    • Reply gemmieboo October 21, 2011 at 2:25 pm

      Man, we are right there, and I think we will win eventually this season.
      i completely agree. Carolina doesnt have all the right parts yet but they definitely have a ton of potential. and i think its going to take a bit of time for the team to put their trust in Cam as a leader. but i think he’ll do well there eventually.

      yeah. Donovan is done, and a few good games for Carson will mean more unemployment in this country SMH. the darkies always gettin shafted, yo!

      I wish they would have thrown blows, then the media would actually have something to talk about regarding those two.
      i cant lie, im crossing my fingers and toes to see Rex and Norv go at it this wk! LOL

  • Reply fourpageletter October 24, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    *late…as usual..

    i swear NOONE mentions the CFL more than that American named Wu. LOL. Cracks me up everytime.

    yes. i hit a mild form of dougie (dougie-lite if you will) after the win. DIVISION WIN.

    i love that you are smart phD chick who can type soooo hooood! LOL. #headbussin

    that’s all i gotz!

  • Reply Up4Dsn October 27, 2011 at 7:21 pm

    Great post.

    The 49ers definitely shocked myself and other Lions fans. We almost got the W…but at the end of the day almost doesn’t count for anything.

    I’m with you on the Jim vs Jim battle. It would have been interesting to see how far things would have gone if there weren’t so many people in between them.

    I really like the weekly recaps. I’ll definitely be stopping back by to check them out each week. Keep up the great work.

  • Reply Gem’s NFL (No Freakin Lockout) Week 7 Recap « That's What GEM Said October 28, 2011 at 5:51 pm

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