This week, doe?!?!?! *wall slides* I shouldn’t be wall sliding in week 3.
- 12 of the 16 games were one possession games!!!! Too many nail biting moments of truth!!! I might don’t make it if every week is like this!
- But let’s cut right to the chase–the band of randoms1 better known as the Buffalo Bills (who were 4-12 last season, need I remind you) brought down the mighty New England Patriots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *does victory dance in my seat*
- @ATeam1Up: Twitpic ur face Patriot fans…*ray j voice*
- No, I’m not claiming to be a bandwagon fan of the Bills. But I am a Billiever. Fitzpatrick finally has his team together and their currently undefeated record is NOT a fluke (IMO). I definitely think they’ll win 8 games this season. #yeahisaidit
- You know what I won’t say? That Dolphin’s Jason Taylor is NOT a douche bag. Jason, no one cares that you think Chad Henne’s more talented than my boy Nacho. Your team is 0-3, you haven’t started in any of those games, and you pass yourself around from team to team like your name is Kim K. Just STFU and spend your time actually being a contributing member of the team.
- As for Nacho, he literally got bodied (and bloodied) against the Raiders. Nonetheless he still played better this week than last. Maybe he needs a good kick in the pants every now and then.
- Meanwhile, Raiders head coach Hue Jackson lookin like a straight up pimp in his too-pin-striped suit during his post-game interview. Sir…. white people do not allow such foolery. Please don’t ever do that again!
- Anyway, getting back to bodied QBs–Michael “what is a pocket and why should I use it?” Vick. He just came back from a concussion and now he’s got a broken hand? It’s becoming more clear to me he doesn’t value life, be it his or a canines. #ijs
- But you know what’s oddly comical about Vick playing with a concussion? The Eagles asked Vince “5pt Wonderlic” Young to assess Vick for concussion symptoms!!! *falls out* Clearly cognitive functioning, or brain use in general, is not one of Young’s strengths. Remind me how he’s qualified to play doctor, again… (-_-) Do better Eagles coaching staff.
- On the other side of the field, Eli did his thing! 254 yds and 4 TDs. That’s the Eli I need to see reppin for the Mannings while my boo is out… *weeps for my boo*
- Speaking of my boo, the 8 camera shots of him up in the booth during the 2nd half of the Steelers v Colts game were PRICELESS. I don’t read minds but I’m pretty sure most of the time Peyton was thinking, COME THE F&%K ON, SON!
- That said, the Kerry Collins/Kurt Painter awkward QB tag team didn’t do too bad. They almost won on the poor decision making of Steeler’s offense alone–making a prime example of “this is how not to play against a team you think you can be” out of the Steelers. SMDH.
- @joesimtre: David Garrard told me to remind everyone that his phone still works.
- @soulonice6: The Curtis Painter Era has begun.
- @nathanjames09: 3 turnovers…and now a missed field goal. Do niggas just watch porn and beat thier dicks in practice…WTF??
- While we’re on the subject of teams who almost lost to teams they should have creamed, my Bolts barely managed to squeak a win against the sorry azz Chefs. They are being consistent at being inconsistent. Small victories, I guess… (o_O)
- txt #1 from my bro: “Rivers is doing a great impression of Halle Berry’s role in new jack city. That’s how bad he’s HOEING the fuck up!!!!!” … me: i. hate. you.
- txt #2 from my bro: “game over unless Rivers puts on his clear heels instead of his cleats” … me: *dead*
- While we’re talking about porn, did any one else know about the “Booty Lounge“–a bus that functions as a strip club outside Ford Field during Lions home games–in Detroit?? LMBO! Now that’s what I call tailgating!! Owww!! *body rolls*
- I think the Booty Lounge boosts the morale of the city and the team, who is 3-0!! I hope the city doesnt hastily shut down the mobile strip club. I mean, what else is there besides titties and tackling? *shrug*
- In unrelated news, some one please tell me why I drafted Chris Johnson to my fantasy team. Don’t worry, I’ll wait… He’s TRASH right now. His 2.1 yd per carry (46 carries for 98 yds) is, quite frankly, an embarrassment to his profession, and more importantly, my fantasy team (Gemmie’s Womb Shifters). Stop tweeting about fixing the damn problem, AND FIX IT!! Ya no rushing, Tyrese spellin, hard on the eyes lookin bastard…
- Lastly, what can be said about the age-old “Cowboys & Indians” matchup that hasn’t already been said?? I think these folks said it best:
- @BlkSportsOnline Does the Cowboys Center have money on the Redskins?
- @DragonflyJonez Most exciting wack game ever.
- While I acknowledge Tony Romo (my 2nd favorite Mexican2 in the league) came through in the clutch, carried his team on his back, and pulled out a W…. I feel like that’s his job. *shrug* I have no interest in giving him special recognition for being a good QB when everyone around him is effing up. Am I wrong or is that what he’s getting paid good money to do? #ijs
The Fan Fare
What’s YOUR fave thing about the NFL, besides the actual game??
Charles said: Right, wrong or otherwise, Fantasy Football has TOTALLY changed the way that I watch football. I could care less about the NFL Draft, but my fantasy league draft is life! The best thing about it is that everyone’s “expertise” is on display and you get to match wits with the backdrop of the game we all love.
Teesh said: #1 is probably the shit talking between the fans of rival teams, and the shit talking between NFL fans across the board, period. Every week, I know that I’ll be getting phone calls, texts or tweets from folks who hate my team(s) and want to see them fail. Of course, I return the favor too. #2 men with nice bodies, in tight pants. That’s what I call a win-win.
Did I miss anything? What are some of your favorite highlights from this past week? Any predictions for next week’s games? Lastly, raise your hand if your team is 3-0! *keeps hand down* Whatever.
Until next week, sports fans!
~Gem, the Billiever
1 “band of randoms” meaning half the active roster is made up of undrafted players.
2 Yes, for those of you who still don’t know, Tony Romo is half Mexican. Shocking I know. But it’s true.