Wow, it’s been about half a year since the last time I did a post on forgiveness. For those of you new readers, I started Friday Forgiveness as a way to purge of any ill feelings I had towards people who may have wronged me or caused me unrest (since I’m all about the “power of forgiveness” and what not).
For those of you who haven’t heard, the Rapture has been predicted to occur tomorrow (Saturday, May 211). Since I’m a saved Christian who plans on being CAUGHT UP in the Rapture of love when the Good Shepard comes back to get his flock, I figured it was absolutely imperative that I get my soul right by doing one last sweep through the list of people/places/thing I may need my forgiveness! Despite the fact that I’ve never really given the Rapture much thought in my adult life2, I still feel it’s necessary to take some precautions just in the off chance these nutty cultists who predicted the Rapture date got it right. Hell, even the CDC is taking no chances in alerting the public about how to fight of zombies!! Preparedness is NOT a game! So yeah…. #bettersafethansorry
So here goes…
- The Naysayers. The people who doubted my ability to win a Nobel Prize. The people who scoffed at my desire for movie romance. The people who thought I would be a bitter spinster with 50-le’em cats. While I really don’t appreciate you trying to burst my bubble full of hopes and dreams, I forgive you for your negativity. Besides, if I’m raptured, none of this will happen and you’d be right!!! *facepalm*
- The Haters. The people who tried to diminish my accomplishments and accolades by trying to outdo me with theirs. The people who didn’t congratulate me any of the times I had good news to share. The people like TWIsM and Humble One who were always busying themselves by minding grown folks business (i.e. #RGS goon status) while having no credibility or reputation to do so. You tried your hardest to make me second guess myself, but I’m too vain to think anything but highly of myself. Nice try, I forgive you.
- The Macaroni Tonys. The pervy old men who’ve ever made me feel creepy and violated by staring at or talking to me inappropriately. Though I find you completely disturbing and gross, I appreciate that you found my beauty worth admiring–all is forgiven.
- The Bad Drivers. The people who cut me off. The people who speed up to get in front of me only to slow down. The people who don’t use their turn signal effectively. The people who ride my tail (pause?). The people who are 90, legally blind, but still operating a motor vehicle. You all gave me road rage but also taught me patience and the art of defensive driving. I forgive you.
- The Coworkers.3 The people who forgot to reorder supplies when they used the last of them. The people who left me out on their lunch time plans. The people who made jokes about me being pregnant. The people who kept removing things from my desk. The people who sexually harass me even though I like it. The people who ate my food without asking. As much of a pain in the a$s you could be, you kept me smiling and excited about going to work each day. Of course, I forgive you!
- The Failures. The experiments that didn’t work independent of my human error. The equipment that broke when I needed it most. The papers that were submitted that got rejected. The grants I submitted that didn’t get funding. The fellowships I didn’t receive. Though you stressed me out and I hated life when you didn’t turn out the way I wanted, I learned that some things are out of my control. I forgive you because I now know how to just let some sh*t go.
- The Heartbreakers. The men who broke their promises. The men who took pride in my pain. The men who mistook my kindness for weakness and betrayed my trust. The men who were entrusted with my heart but were careless and selfish and allowed it to become neglected and bruised. Though you gave me every reason to become bitter and cold, I’ve become better instead. I forgive you because I won’t let the next man pay for your mistakes.
I think that about covers it. And it feels so good to have that weight off my shoulders! Now I’m light and more prepared to be elevated towards the heavens.
If the Rapture comes tomorrow, will you be caught up in it? Is there any last minute forgiveness you need to make before then (be you the person being raptured or the person being left behind)? Have you made a rapture will (see #3 below)?
Burden free and rapture ready,
1As a Christian, I wanna be upset at these professional anchors for clowning my people’s beliefs about the Rapture, but when I really think about it, I been clowning folks trippin’ on the Rapture too. The entire concept of the Rapture and the dramatics that are supposed to occur as a result, ON TOP of the fact that God managed to tell a select group of people the exact day its too occur (despite said group failing to accurately predict this event previously) do sound kinda crazy lol. No diss to anyone who does in fact believe in rapturing, but… *shrug* Not to worry, doe, I’m sure The Holy Trinity has a sense of humor 🙂
2 I was scared. to. death. of talks of the Rapture when I was in middle school. It scared me to the point that I considered praying for God to let me die before it came, because I wanted NO PARTS of the Apocalypse. The very idea of the “mark of the beast” and all that stuff tormented my young mind for weeks. It took me a few years to actually not shiver at the mere mention of “Rapture”.
3 My coworkers were the first ones to bring to my attention the Rapture prediction of May 21. Since I’m the only one in the lab who is a Christian, I would be the only one Raptured–so if I didn’t show up for work on the following Monday, they’d know the Rapture occurred. They also advised me to make a #rapturewill to minimize chaos and fighting amongst them for who got what of my stuff. I love those crazy fools and will miss them if I’m go.