growth + wellness

Friday Forgiveness: Last Call Before Rapture?

May 20, 2011

You've been warned!

Wow, it’s been about half a year since the last time I did a post on forgiveness. For those of you new readers, I started Friday Forgiveness as a way to purge  of any ill feelings I had towards people who may have wronged me or caused me unrest (since I’m all about the “power of forgiveness” and what not).

For those of you who haven’t heard, the Rapture has been predicted to occur tomorrow (Saturday, May 211). Since I’m a saved Christian who plans on being CAUGHT UP in the Rapture of love when the Good Shepard comes back to get his flock,  I figured it was absolutely imperative that I get my soul right by doing one last sweep through the list of people/places/thing I may need my forgiveness! Despite the fact that I’ve never really given the Rapture much thought in my adult life2, I still feel it’s necessary to take some precautions just in the off chance these nutty cultists who predicted the Rapture date got it right. Hell, even the CDC  is taking no chances in alerting the public about how to fight of zombies!! Preparedness is NOT a game! So yeah…. #bettersafethansorry

So here goes…

  • The Naysayers. The people who doubted my ability to win a Nobel Prize. The people who scoffed at my desire for movie romance. The people who thought I would be a bitter spinster with 50-le’em cats. While I really don’t appreciate you trying to burst my bubble full of hopes and dreams, I forgive you for your negativity. Besides, if I’m raptured, none of this will happen and you’d be right!!! *facepalm*
  • The Haters. The people who tried to diminish my accomplishments and accolades by trying to outdo me with theirs. The people who didn’t congratulate me any of the times I had good news to share. The people like TWIsM and Humble One who were always busying themselves by minding grown folks business (i.e. #RGS goon status) while having no credibility or reputation to do so. You tried your hardest to make me second guess myself, but I’m too vain to think anything but highly of myself. Nice try, I forgive you.
  • The Macaroni Tonys. The pervy old men who’ve ever made me feel creepy and violated by staring at or talking to me inappropriately. Though I find you completely disturbing and gross, I appreciate that you found my beauty worth admiring–all is forgiven.
  • The Bad Drivers. The people who cut me off. The people who speed up to get in front of me only to slow down. The people who don’t use their turn signal effectively. The people who ride my tail (pause?). The people who are 90, legally blind, but still operating a motor vehicle. You all gave me road rage but also taught me patience and the art of defensive driving. I forgive you.
  • The Coworkers.3 The people who forgot to reorder supplies when they used the last of them. The people who left me out on their lunch time plans. The people who made jokes about me being pregnant. The people who kept removing things from my desk. The people who sexually harass me even though I like it. The people who ate my food without asking. As much of a pain in the a$s you could be, you kept me smiling and excited about going to work each day. Of course, I forgive you!
  • The Failures. The experiments that didn’t work independent of my human error. The equipment that broke when I needed it most. The papers that were submitted that got rejected. The grants I submitted that didn’t get funding. The fellowships I didn’t receive. Though you stressed me out and I hated life when you didn’t turn out the way I wanted, I learned that some things are out of my control. I forgive you because I now know how to just let some sh*t go.
  • The Heartbreakers. The men who broke their promises. The men who took pride in my pain. The men who mistook my kindness for weakness and betrayed my trust. The men who were entrusted with my heart but were careless and selfish and allowed it to become neglected and bruised. Though you gave me every reason to become bitter and cold, I’ve become better instead. I forgive you because I won’t let the next man pay for your mistakes.

I think that about covers it. And it feels so good to have that weight off my shoulders! Now I’m light and more prepared to be elevated towards the heavens.

If the Rapture comes tomorrow, will you be caught up in it? Is there any last minute forgiveness you need to make before then (be you the person being raptured or the person being left behind)? Have you made a rapture will (see #3 below)?

Burden free and rapture ready,
~Gemmie
——
1As a Christian, I wanna be upset at these professional anchors for clowning my people’s beliefs about the Rapture, but when I really think about it, I been clowning folks trippin’ on the Rapture too. The entire concept of the Rapture and the dramatics that are supposed to occur as a result, ON TOP of the fact that God managed to tell a select group of people the exact day its too occur (despite said group failing to accurately predict this event previously) do sound kinda crazy lol. No diss to anyone who does in fact believe in rapturing, but… *shrug* Not to worry, doe, I’m sure The Holy Trinity has a sense of humor 🙂
2 I was scared. to. death. of talks of the Rapture when I was in middle school. It scared me to the point that I considered praying for God to let me die before it came, because I wanted NO PARTS of the Apocalypse. The very idea of the “mark of the beast” and all that stuff tormented my young mind for weeks. It took me a few years to actually not shiver at the mere mention of “Rapture”.
3 My coworkers were the first ones to bring to my attention the Rapture prediction of May 21. Since I’m the only one in the lab who is a Christian, I would be the only one Raptured–so if I didn’t show up for work on the following Monday, they’d know the Rapture occurred. They also advised me to make a #rapturewill to minimize chaos and fighting amongst them for who got what of my stuff. I love those crazy fools and will miss them if I’m go.

You Might Also Like

22 Comments

  • Reply *Yolie* May 20, 2011 at 1:33 am

    Gem… i don’t know what to say except the Lord knows my heart and i hope with all the crap i give him, he still finds a way to forgive and forget and welcome me into the pearly gates

    #thatisall

    • Reply gemmieboo May 20, 2011 at 1:46 am

      all you have to do for forgiveness, is ask! God will grant it. just make sure you have a little talk with Jesus, He loves that 🙂

      *hugs*

  • Reply Euphoric Ears May 20, 2011 at 9:27 am

    I quit you Gem! This post made me laugh! Especially since you shouted out The Macaroni Tonys

    “You think you a mack”

    “Macaroni” (You know what movie that’s from?)

    Who do I forgive….let’s see:

    My Roommate: You’s a filthy little heifer. You don’t clean and your bad wig hair sheds all over the place, disgusting the very core of my soul. I don’t understand you, nor your lack of motivation. You’re the face behind the Hoes Be Winning campagin. But I forgive you and your filth….oh, and your bad attitude. Although your very presence makes me cold like a Dementor just entered the room, some how I survive. #JesusIsMyHomeboy

    My Co-workers: E, you’re cool and my sanity. Nothing to forgive you for. You other two women…I can’t stand your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You’re the scum between my toes. But seriously, the pair of you are the biggest pains I’ve ever encountered. And you Ms. Director Lady who’s sole purpose in life is to bring me down, I forgive you for those times where you stupidity pissed me off so bad that I had to shed a few thug tears in the bathroom. It was either that, or choke your ass out. But we’re good now. You don’t know any better. Oh, and S…you’re just weird as hell. Juggling and shit. Talking sign language to yourself. Speaking incomplete sentences. I forgive you for scaring me.

    *thinks*

    That’s about it!

    • Reply gemmieboo May 20, 2011 at 9:41 am

      lmao girl you know i had to shout out the MTs!!!! and you know i know what movie that line is from–FRIDAY!!!!!!! *hits my “thats my dog” snake*

      your list, doe?? from “your bad wig hair” to “i forgive you for scaring me” i died. you are frikkin hilarious. but those are def good pardons!!!

      p.s. i feel you on the crying over committing assault and battery–been there done that. ive seen straight gangsta chicks break out in tears because they didnt wanna go upside someone’s dome.

      • Reply Euphoric Ears May 20, 2011 at 10:02 am

        LMAO!!! “That’s my dog!”

        Gemmie you da best, you da, you da best *Drizzy voice* You always know my movie quotes. Did you peep the Little Rascals quote I through in the 2nd paragraph? #INeedHelp

      • Reply gemmieboo May 20, 2011 at 11:30 pm

        oh snap i missed it first pass through!! im slippin, pimpin

    • Reply Wu Young, Agent of M.E. May 20, 2011 at 9:50 am

      “your bad wig hair sheds all over the place,” “You’re the face behind the Hoes Be Winning campagin”

      LaLa, do you live with Nicki Minaj or something?

    • Reply BP May 20, 2011 at 9:56 am

      Wait, SPED made the list? Bwahahhaaaaa! Lightening Strikes…BAM. DEAD.

      • Reply Euphoric Ears May 20, 2011 at 10:03 am

        LMAO!!! Yeah, an overstuffed version of Minaj!

  • Reply Wu Young, Agent of M.E. May 20, 2011 at 9:44 am

    Forgiveness list:

    My neighbor Man-Man. I forgive you for having what sounds like the most unappealing sex/domestic violence (It all sounds the same. Yelling and grunting.) ever at a**crack thirty in the morning.

    My co-workers for talking to me when you see I am clearly wearing my don’t say sh*t to Keith Young face! I’m sorry you didn’t take a hint and keep it moving.

    I love how y’all have the term “Macaroni Tony” for the male version of cougars. I just picture a bunch of sad 40 something and old cats chasing girls around the gym Brett Farvin’ .

    • Reply gemmieboo May 20, 2011 at 11:50 pm

      I forgive you for having what sounds like the most unappealing sex/domestic violence (It all sounds the same. Yelling and grunting.) ever at a**crack thirty in the morning.

      sorry bout that. ill keep it down next time….

      i wanna see a pic of the KYoung face. please and thank you.

      thanks to Lala’s crazy tail, Macaroni Tonys have been given a name that shall live on in infamy. *smh* thank GAWD the hip abductor/adductor machines are in the back against the wall, shielded from MTs

      thanks for sharing!!

  • Reply BP May 20, 2011 at 10:08 am

    I really hope tomorrow is not the end of days though ya’ll. I love Jesus, I do but I still have some dreams to accomplish and I will miss some people b/c I know some folks won’t make it in. #shots
    I tried really hard to think of someone to forgive and I almost came up short but thennnnn I thought about someone.

    I forgive the hater chick at my job that talks ishhh b/c of my promotion. Don’t think I don’t know. Last I checked you didn’t even speak English correctly. Do NOT let the bourgeois fool you heffa, I will pay someone to lay hands.

    Good post Gem! 🙂

    • Reply gemmieboo May 20, 2011 at 11:51 pm

      I love Jesus, I do but I still have some dreams to accomplish and I will miss some people b/c I know some folks won’t make it in.

      girrrrrrl you know Jesus aint gon wait til errybody accomplishes all their dreams. he’d NEVER come back at that rate lol

      Do NOT let the bourgeois fool you heffa, I will pay someone to lay hands.

      LOLLLLLL this!!!!!! yes girl, i feel you!!

      thanks for sharing 🙂

  • Reply Cheekie May 20, 2011 at 12:00 pm

    Girl, Armageddon used to scare me as a mini Cheekie, too! I used to think I was going to hell for things such as “accidentally” doing the five-finger discount that one time at the corner store. Hey! It was a commandment. *shivers*

    • Reply gemmieboo May 20, 2011 at 11:52 pm

      Girl, Armageddon used to scare me as a mini Cheekie, too! </i<

      its so good to know im not the only one!!

  • Reply NY2VA May 20, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    My Dad – I found out about 15 years ago that the man who I thought was my father really wasn’t. Since then, I have developed a relationship with my real dad, and he is a wonderful guy. However, I have never truly forgiven the man who abandoned me when I was 7 years old. He has no idea that he’s not my biological father, yet he dipped out only to be heard from a few times in the 30 years. He called when I was about to graduate from high school. He called when I was about to graduate from college. However, I let it be known to the folks who could get a message to him that I had no desire to hear from him when I got married and when I gave birth to my son. I guess my Friday Forgiveness would have to be extended to my “not father” because learning that he wasn’t my real dad didn’t make the pain he caused any less real.

    I know this was supposed to be light hearted and ish, but this was all I had. Sorry y’all…

    • Reply gemmieboo May 20, 2011 at 11:59 pm

      wow–that’s deep, my goon. you are one HELL of a woman for not only dealing with all of this (and still being quite sane and without overt daddy issues) but also for sharing this with me/us.

      *hugs* i love you girl–you my sista you my ace you my goon. and i pray that you continue to build the life you deserve despite this happening to you.

  • Reply tdlove May 20, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    Um yeah. I’m still in denial. I figure if my Pastor hasn’t pulled me aside (and I had dinner with him after choir practice on Wednesday) and told me to get right, then I’m cool.

    I also figure since I will be at church tomorrow for our Community Health Fair, I will be at the right place in case stuff happens.. so..

    But I admire your forgiving heart Gemmie! Settin’ a good example for us all. 🙂

    • Reply gemmieboo May 21, 2011 at 12:02 am

      Um yeah. I’m still in denial.

      LOL! i know the feeling

      I figure if my Pastor hasn’t pulled me aside (and I had dinner with him after choir practice on Wednesday) and told me to get right, then I’m cool.

      though i joke about it–we who believe dont know the day or hour the Rapture will occur. so you should always be right and ready to roll when Jesus comes to get us. whatchu waitin for? lol

      But I admire your forgiving heart Gemmie! Settin’ a good example for us all.

      you know a goon’s gotta do what a goon’s gotta do!! #goonsstandup!!

      thanks for sharing!!!

  • Reply Racqs May 20, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    Gem, Gem, Gem…. I thought I was the only one scared beyond belief of the rapture! Our Sunday school teacher suggested that we read the book of Revelations. I went to bed praying every night during that month because I was honestly fearful of it. I still have a slight aversion to end-of-the-world and excorcist (for different reasons) movies to this day.

    But I suppose I can forgive the big headed, big-eared baby that was screaming his head off during an ENTIRE flight from Chicago to Sacramento. I’ll also forgive the triflin man next to me for his horrendous gas (along with myself for leaving behind my travel-sized febreze). I think I should adopt this forgiveness friday myself…

    • Reply gemmieboo May 21, 2011 at 12:03 am

      I went to bed praying every night during that month because I was honestly fearful of it. I still have a slight aversion to end-of-the-world and excorcist (for different reasons) movies to this day.

      yo, Raqs, we are soooo >>>here<<< i dont eff with apocalypto movies AT ALL!!

      your flight sounds HORRID!!! a wildin out baby AND a gassy neighbor?!?!? oh haayyyyle no!!! but im glad you mad it back home safe, enjoy the cali life for me 🙂

      thanks for sharing!

  • Reply Squeak May 27, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    I was kinda buggin slightly last week because even though I figured it wouldn’t happen, i was more concerned about people that I knew don’t beleive and wouldn’t be goin. Plus i got really into the Left Behind series back in undergrad and that was enuff for ya boi.

    As for forgiveness, I guess i can toss one to a co-worker who is constantly trying to catch me slipping, and back checkin my work like she my superior. She see me comin for her though, intimidation can be a “B”. Other than that, sometime the person we have to really forgive is ourselves.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: