growth + wellness

Friday Forgiveness: I Don’t Need It

July 9, 2010

I don't need it either, boo.

Welp… I’m another year older. I’m another year wiser. I’m another year experienced at handling and hoarding a lot of baggage. As I mentioned in my inaugural post, I’m learning to accept some things/people as they are, and trying to let go of what I cannot control. That said, I’ve adopted Jamie’s little diddy as my anthem for the year. I know, I know, this song isn’t exactly new. But I hear it every Thursday during my line dancing class when we do a slide to this song (yes, I have an old soul, and my old soul loves to do choreographed dance with ppl 3x my age and 3x my foot-work ability, #dontjudgeme). And as I listened to the song yesterday, I couldn’t help but say to myself, “Self… You. Don’t. Need. It.” What is it? IT is any nonsense, BS, drama, lies, absence of truths, disrespect, disregard, disappointments, etc. I’m young (compared to a full grown Sequoia), I’m a decent human being (I volunteer at the Food Bank), I’m frikkin gorgeous (and by gorgeous I may mean slightly vain–and delusional), and I’m mildly successful (I thought getting a husband would be easier than this PhD….wrong. false. absolutely incorrect). Keeping undesirables and unmentionables in my lifespace will only bring down my property value down. And I can’t afford that kind of loss.

That said, I want to make sure I purge myself of all the unneeded clutter that has seeped it’s way into my 1st week in my late 20s. I shall spread my forgiveness for all to see with the following:

  • 2 drivers that tried to run me over. People in Pittsburgh are notorious for being terrible pedestrians and drivers. But since I pose as both, I try to be considerate of all people on the road and in crosswalks. Yet, even as I politely obeyed traffic laws and yielded my right to the right-of-way, I still managed to get targeted as a victim for vehicular manslaughter twice in a matter of 48hrs. Both people actually SPED up even after I made eye contact and knew they could in fact see me! Both times I slowed down, locked eyes, and gave the “I DARE you” look. Perhaps my nonchalant attitude caused them to miss me. Jerks! If I were the crazy type, I’d have banged on the hoods of their cars. But, alas, I am not. I’m literally too grown to cause a scene in public

which leads me to my next pardon…

  • Silly chicks who start drama at the club. *sigh* Not only does this make YOU look foolish (we grown–loud yapping is soooooo high school), but it’s hella hard to focus when I’m inebriated and more focused on following your wagging finger than the hate spewing out of your mouth. It just leaves me confused, not scared. Unless you’re going to throw a punch, you’ve solved nothing. Please don’t waste my time or yours unless you plan on backing up that talk with your walk. Especially over some he said/she said nonsense. *smh* I certainly don’t need this! Lord!
  • thatdamnafrican aka ethiopianboy.He knows what he did!! And though he’s normally a jerk, his rudeness this week was particularly offensive because it’s my bday week. Has he no boundaries?!?! Ugh!
  • My e-twin and other friends who forgot my bday. It happens. I actually forget people’s bdays all the time. I’ve definitely had to do the lame “blame it on my mind not my heart” kind of explanation. And, when the lame shoe fits…. deny, lie. deny.
  • The whackness of my birthday. By far the most boring, unexciting, lonely, uneventful, pointless birthday in the history of my life. All I need is more unpleasantness in my lifespace!!! TF? I’m totally going to need  a do over on 7-7-11.

So, good people, is there anyone or anything that you don’t need or need to forgive? No better time than the present to get the mess off your chest. What say you? I’ve said my piece of peace.

Aging & Purging,
~Gem

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6 Comments

  • Reply Shondriette July 9, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    1) This hasn't been the best week for you but I'm sure your 26th year is going to be fabulous! You can't see a mountaintop without a trip through the valley :)2) I forgive: Myself for being so lax with my diet. Summertime is not an excuse to eat ice cream daily!! I'll do better starting today :)My work calendar for being so hectic. The kids gotta be saved and I need work on my time management skills so it's necessary evil.Every man that has ever hurt and/or disappointed me. I was mad at you then but I'm not now. Everyone of you taught me something and I'm a stronger smarter woman for it. I'm hardheaded so I recognize that God can't whisper His lessons to me, He has to shout.

  • Reply SaneN85 July 9, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    This week I forgive myself for feelign down. I'm allowed to, right? Right?!?

  • Reply SaneN85 July 9, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Now I forgive myself for typos.

  • Reply thatdamnafrican July 9, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    "And though he's normally a jerk, his rudeness this week was particularly offensive because it's my bday week."Hey, I wasn't a jerk to you ON your birthday (that I can recall). Asking me to be nice for an entire week is being a bit greedy. But I'll (try to) be nice to you tomorrow. :)I forgive:1) Myself for procrastinating this week. I need to stop playing around this coming week and get it together. Deadlines are approaching.2) LeBron for allowing millions of people to fellate (I must have used this word 83 times in the past 2 days) him on television. Can't blame him for taking advantage of the hoopla, but geez, that hour special was borderline hardcore porn.

  • Reply SDot July 9, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    You said "I couldn't help but say to myself, "Self… You. Don't. Need. It."…" I like this and forgive myself for not thinking about this on a regular basis. I avoid drama but drama tried to find me. I'm bobbing and weaving killa. I forgive myself again for not doing the most and going for the gusto 137% of the time. I forgive my squeeze for going through my phone. It was uncalled for an disrespectful. But I'll let it slide this time. Next time, I'll cut his hands off. :)I forgive everyone who hasn't forgiven me. I'm not that bad of a person.. Grudges aren't a good look. Look at me! Chip off shoulders Free!

  • Reply Gem of the Ocean July 10, 2010 at 12:24 am

    i LOVE everyone's lists!! good job on making amends guys–feels refreshing doesnt it??@shondriettei too have been lax on my diet. i soooo need to do better. but tmrw is my big bday cookout with friends so its likely ill have to start afresh on monday lol… and i too have forgiven the men who've wronged me. one who has been very recent, in fact. its very liberating to forgive some one. because its never about THEM, its always about YOU. and thats so empowering. i wish more ppl could practice this.@Sane85i too forgive myself for being down about my bday. its NOT the end of the world. but a little down time always helps make my ups more enjoyable :)@thatdamnafricanyou played my on your blog on my bday!!!! please go back and refresh lol… i too forgive myself for procrastination. im making a point to do better. my phd depends on it lol…. and i 137% (shout out to SDot) agree on the lebron thing. i didnt witness (o_O) the spectacle but im glad i didnt. i hate seeing the d*ck riding take place. i mean, kobe and lebron are at least 89.7% gay for letting other men fellate them so consistently. *smh* damn shame@SDoti am with you on your list!!! i have those same forgivenesses regularly. well, all except the one about your squeeze. my boo KG would NEVER do such a thing. he knows better 🙂

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