Today is my thirty-fourth birthday. And I am deeming this next turn around the sun my #34YearOfMore.
Someone recently asked me what I hoped to gain from this next year of living on this earth and I replied more. Of what? Everything. There has to be something specific. To do more, to be more, to have more. I just want more.
This past year was my Jesus Year – thirty-three. The (approximate) age Jesus was thought to have been when he began his ministry, performed his miracles, and sacrificed his human form to return to an eternal home. While I hadn’t planned to be quite as ephemeral, I declared that at age 33 I would live in my purpose, be fearless in my approach to determining the course of my life, and seek happiness at all costs.
As I look back over my Jesus Year, I’m so proud of myself. I started a prestigious fellowship I’d had my eye on for almost 10 years, moved to an area that I always said I wanted to live in, connected with old friends and made new ones, experienced love again, made self care a priority. I lived. With stress and bullshit at a minimum, no panic attacks or breakdowns. I just lived and was happy and fulfilled.
And this next year I want more. I want all of the good of this past year to be amplified and expanded. Now that I see what I’m capable of – how much my own health and happiness are dependent on my decisions to make it so – I want to do more, try more, be more, love me more
, twerk more. There’s so much more within me, I have to tap into it.
The only thing keeping me from living a better life than the best life I have now is me So I’m ready to get to it.
Thank you for being part of the journey.
Today I remembered that I am fulfilled. Today I remembered that I love and am loved. Today I remembered that I want for nothing. Today I remembered that I am whole. Today I celebrate this bliss, this win because the memory of how it felt to be broken was fresh on my mind just a week ago.
Today is the 365th day of 2015. The final day of the year. Day 1 of the new calendar year awaits!
I DID IT!!!!! I am officially a half marathoner!! *hits the quan with limited range of motion*
I am a runner.
If you know me or have been following my running adventures on Instagra/Facebook, you probably think this is a ridiculous announcement. Because obvious. But hear me out!
The other day I was watching the Love and Hip Hop Hollywood season 2 premiere. Hollywood is the newest addition to the LHH franchise. And while I find the cast to be a tad washed and boring, I was interested to see how the show would fare with the addition of a Black gay male producer and his closeted, aspiring rapper Black male lover. (Spoiler alert: this gay story line is terribly predictable and over-hyped and will probably end up being the least entertaining thing about this season)
On a recent hike, a friend of mine was telling me about his family and was particularly animated and passionate when he described the men in his life – his father and uncles. He told me about their hustles and grinds to create and take advantage of various opportunities in order to build their careers and provide for their families. Their work ethic undoubtedly influenced the man he was and the type of life he was working to have for the family he would one day start.
Today is the 183rd day of the year 2015. There are 182 days left before another new calendar year starts. We’re at the halfway point, folks. Congrats!
I will be 32 in 5 days. This is a great time to reflect on the last 6 months, and consider what could lie ahead for the next 6 months.
My mind often (always?) feels cluttered. Crowded with many thoughts. Creating traffic jams up and down the information highways of my brain. Neural systems putting in overtime processing and planning. Recalling, replaying, reminding, reconsidering. In need of parking garages to be stored, with spaces neatly marked to find when a return is necessary.
The older I get, the more I realize what a swindle adulthood is. As a child (and even young adult) I thought adults are supposed to live the high life because naturally life could only get better with fewer restrictions and more privileges.
And then I became an adult.
And shit got real.