Best Things I Don’t Have… Yet

August 1, 2011

How many times have you wanted some thing or some one so bad that you it consumed so much of your time and energy that you couldn’t think of anything else, and in your mind this thing or person became larger than life? How many times have you felt your life had a void because you didn’t have this some thing or some one that would help make it complete? How many times have you petitioned to God in prayer to grant those desires of your heart? If I had to count these occasions, we’d be here all day.

As a single woman in my late 20s with no marital prospects, living on a full time graduate student stipend, renting a home in a city I have no intention of staying in permanently, I have often felt like there are things missing in my life. I’ve often prayed to (read: pleaded with) God to change my situation or to give me more than what I have. There are people all around me who got more but gave less, and yet sometimes I feel like I give a lot but get only a little. Am I not worthy to have more? Am I asking for too much?

And just as I began to think once again about all the things I don’t yet have, I was reminded during yesterday’s sermon (based on 1 Corinthians 3:1-5) that sometimes we, believers, just aren’t ready to receive the blessings that God has for us. And yes, God does have blessings that He’s just waiting to give us. Often times I’m so consumed with what or who I want or don’t have that I don’t take the time to reflect or focus on what I need to do to get them. I want God to bless me, but I tend to focus too much on the gift rather than the giver. My priorities get screwed up and I don’t even realize that I’m in no position to have more sh*t I probably have no business having anyway stuff. But just like a good parent, God knows our circumstance and withholds things from us until we show that we are ready to receive it responsibly. And I truly believe that He lets us know exactly what we need to do to get our blessings. We just stay blocking ourselves from being blessed.

We live in a culture where we have a sense of urgency about everything. We aren’t always willing to be disciplined enough to delay gratification or invest in developing ourselves now and letting good things come later. Because more often than not, the best things come to those who wait. Patience is a virtue that leads to greater rewards. So what’s the rush? #pumpyourbrakes

Besides, some things that seem so great and wonderful in our minds turn out to be less than desirable once we actually get them. That’s one of the reasons I love  Beyonce’s new hit single, “Best Thing I Never Had,” so much. Looking past the relationship tone of the song, I find the lyrics to be  profound because you can want something or someone so bad, but once exposed for what it or they really are, you end up being glad you don’t have it.

 I wanted you bad, I’m so through with that / ‘Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had

Looking past the relationship tone of the song, I find the lyrics to be  profound because you can want some thing (one) so bad, but once exposed for what it (they) really is (are), you end up being glad you are without.  Some things are better out of reach, admiring from afar. I can’t even begin to describe that many times I sighed in relief at how much better off I am without the things or people I thought I couldn’t live without. #praiseHim

I want the best of what God has for me, but I’m willing to actively wait on them. And by actively wait I mean to act in faith by keeping my priorities straight and preparing myself to be receptive of the blessings I claim to want.

Have there been times you wanted some thing or some one so bad that was missing from your life? Have you ever wanted things that you knew deep down that you weren’t ready for? Are there things you really wanted, but later were relieved that you never got?

Waiting on the best that’s yet to come,

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  • Reply Wu Young, Agent of M.E. August 1, 2011 at 5:27 am

    I understand what your saying Gemmie. My Moms calls it “Having bigger eyes than your stomach.” Look at it as if you havent anything to eat all day and then when you get home and someone is cooking. You want it and need the food so you pile your plate high. A few bites in you realize that you aren’t ready for that amount of food.

    Love, professional success, or what have are no different. Getting things right on times seems to work out for most of us. I’ve done this a lot of times. Making choices based on a deep seeded need for what I wanted. I had a bad relationships that way but in the end that was what I needed.

    Good post and I hope my bumpkinisms and glittering generalities made sense.

    • Reply gemmieboo August 2, 2011 at 7:00 pm

      i think that analogy definitely applies. we see so much and want so much, but we dont have room enough to receive it. so fitting.

      good lookin, Wu

  • Reply nowsayitwithme August 1, 2011 at 10:16 am

    I’m with Wu. My eyes have definitely been bigger than my stomach lately. I’ve filled my plate with one of everything around me in the buffet of life and I’ve only been able to stomach 1/8 of what I’d prepped myself to take in. And I’ve just finished doing this in a “relationship” by taking on more than I thought I could handle, to be proved wrong. This is pretty much Wu’s comment in my words. I wish you the best of luck. Nice post. Stay outta trouble ^_^

    • Reply gemmieboo August 2, 2011 at 7:03 pm

      the buffet of life, SMH. its so easy to be greedy when you see so many things in front of you, despite not having the preparedness to receive it all. relationships can be especially difficult when they come at the wrong time. we may not always make the best decisions initially, but we have to find it in ourselves to recognize this and remove ourselves from these situations.

      thanks for sharing, suks 🙂

  • Reply Reecie August 1, 2011 at 10:29 am

    great post. and its so interesting Wu used that example with food because my eyes are always bigger than my stomach in the literal sense. Your first two paragraphs are definitely something I’ve struggled with, and at times I am envious of things my friends have (a family) but I know what is for me is for me and I’ll have it when its time. not the best feeling with the most impatient person in the world here, but I’m learning to be patient–I KNOW that is my lesson. I really have to just go with the flow, enjoy the good life in front of me and honoring that and Him.

    • Reply gemmieboo August 2, 2011 at 7:06 pm

      yes yes and more yes. im not a patient person but its a trait im going to HAVE TO sow into myself so that i can reap the benefits God has for me. the wait is always worth it, yet i always wanna rush things along SMH.

      thanks for sharing, Reecie!

  • Reply That Damn African August 1, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    Love this post and can completely relate to this line:

    “Often times I’m so consumed with what or who I want or don’t have that I don’t take the time to reflect or focus on what I need to do to get them.”

    Like you said, we not only have to wait, but ACTIVELY wait by preparing ourselves through our actions to receive that which God has promised us.

    • Reply gemmieboo August 2, 2011 at 7:07 pm

      action, focus, and willingness to receive are KEY in the waiting process. waiting cant be idle, but in not being idle we can get anxious to want to act on our own accord. and this is the ultimate set up. im still learning how to navigate this waiting process.

  • Reply starita34 August 1, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    Superb write up SlimGem!! I gotta remind myself of this all the time and just work on being ready for when God does bless me with those big ticket items (because he blesses me in little ways every day). Even today, I want children, but know that my life would be oh so different. God does indeed know better than us and we must always trust in Him and use the meantime as time to improve upon ourselves – Lord knows I got a long way to go…

    • Reply gemmieboo August 2, 2011 at 7:08 pm

      we all have a long way to go. but we’ve made HUGE strides when we recognize are areas of weakness and what we need to work on. its not easy but with persistence we can do better.

  • Reply MsEvaHoney August 1, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    Great post Gemmie Boo! There has always been an essence of instant gratification, but with the help of technology and access to so many things it is even more prevelant. It is hard to wait but as live life, more and more I realize things happen as, when, and how they are suppose to. The best is yet to come for a great many of us honey love.

    • Reply gemmieboo August 2, 2011 at 7:10 pm

      It is hard to wait but as live life, more and more I realize things happen as, when, and how they are suppose to.

      you never said such truer words, my dear. but even knowing this, it can be so hard to wait for what we want. ugh!

  • Reply I Am Your People August 2, 2011 at 1:21 am

    I try not to think about the “best I never had” too much, because then I start doing the “if only I would have…” I can’t live my life over, I just try to be content with what I have. (that’s a lie – this being single isht is getting old 🙁 )

    • Reply gemmieboo August 2, 2011 at 7:13 pm

      im an obsessive overthinker so i often think about “if only i would have…” and it drives me insane. and just brings more attention to what i want but dont have SMH. its a terrible cycle. but then something happens and im reminded how blessed i am and that i have EVERYTHING that im supposed to.

  • Reply Ivy St. August 2, 2011 at 10:54 am

    “How many times have you wanted some thing or some one so bad that you it consumed so much of your time and energy that you couldn’t think of anything else, and in your mind this thing or person became larger than life?”

    As a child, I always wished I had a relationship with my biological father. Luckily my mother married the greatest father I could ever have when I turned 8. Even through my teenage years, it wasn’t enough because I was confused as to why my biological father would just abandon me. Junior year of undergrad my biological father contacts me to inform me that my grandfather, his father had passed. We were forced to interact for at least a week. During that time and a few subsequent times, I realized how blessed I was that he wasn’t in my life for reasons I won’t disclose. If he were around, I wouldn’t be the wonderful woman I am today. I am forever grateful and blessed that God put the right man in my mother’s life so that he could be the best father I have ever had.

    • Reply gemmieboo August 2, 2011 at 7:17 pm

      God knows exactly what He’s doing, and how all the chips should fall into place. its great that you had the opportunity to at least get to know your father to some degree, and its even better that you could recognize how much better off you were. both you and your mother are very blessed and im so happy for you.

      thanks for sharing!!

  • Reply ellemarie360 August 2, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    Excellent read Gem. I have to remind myself as you said to #pumpyobrakes. I can be very impatient when I am really desiring after something. I’ve learned (more than once) the hard way that rushing into a situation, whether it be a relationship/job etc…has disasturous results. And too, the self destructive behavior of comparing myself to other people and what they have is a habit I had to break, as it was getting me nowhere. It only made me feel bad about my current situation. When I stop and actually listen to Him and what direction He wants me to go in, my life is so much sweeter. I know that I haven’t received all that God has for me, but right now He is giving me all that I can handle. I just say Thank You for what He has done and what I know He will continue to do.

    Good Post 🙂

  • Reply Mahogany Princess August 2, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    I think we have all been there. It’s a phase we all go through. I can remember feeling like God was somehow punishing me at times because it seemed like people were progressing while I was at a standstill. Here’s what I’ve learned, when you are happy and content with where you are, everything else falls into place.
    Once you have the desired person or thing, it’s probable that you will still feel “incomplete.” It is when we learn to rejoice in the right now that everything becomes clear and we reach completeness.

  • Reply BB August 3, 2011 at 6:02 am

    “God knows our circumstance and withholds things from us until we show that we are ready to receive it responsibly.”

    Realest thing I’ve ever read. There have been so many things that I thought I wanted/needed. Most of the time, it wasn’t the right thing for me. The older and wiser I get, the more I realize and – better yet- understand and respect this. Glad I subscribed to your blog!

  • Reply Bad Habits. (venting) « Huh What Say What? August 3, 2011 at 10:29 am

    […] to happen, if it’s not meant for us we have to accept that. After reading Gemmie’s post I had to think about a few things that I’ve wanted/asked for over the years and I realize […]

  • Reply keishabrown August 6, 2011 at 8:32 pm

    nothing to add but great post….

    • Reply gemmieboo August 17, 2011 at 10:47 am

      thanks for reading, kb 🙂

  • Reply legitimate_soul August 11, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    Sometimes your hear or read the right thing at the right time. This post was that for me. Thanks, Gemmie! (hug)

    • Reply gemmieboo August 17, 2011 at 10:53 am

      im glad you got something from it. i def did just writing it. thanks chica *hug*

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