As I mentioned at the beginning of the summer, I was gearing up for a season of hot first (and second and third) dates. I even compiled a list of things that I would do to make sure I brought my A-game to the [literal and figurative] table. I’m proud to say I have been adhering to everything on that list–getting in shape (with a brief hiatus from the gym lol), dressing to impress, keeping the hands and feet on point, consulting with friends, and always being open for a new adventure. If I do say so myself, your girl Gemmie has been on point! *pats self on back*
Yet, sadly, I can’t say the same about some of the brothas I’ve been out with *smh*. The first few dates with some one new should be a time where you’re putting your best foot forward and making positive, long-lasting impressions to secure even more time with the person. Or do I live in an alternate universe where this rule only applies to me? Or maybe I just attract men who usually court women with low standards? Or maybe these dudes just don’t realize how lame their game is (which would be a damn shame if it were true)? *shrugs*
So as an act of public service, I’m going to highlight things that grown behind men do that are just unacceptable on the first [few] dates and need to be avoided…
- Using text as primary mode of communication. Setting the details of your date is not to be done via text. Pick up the phone and DIAL for some voice-to-voice interaction. Many things are lost in translation through text so why risk the miscommunication? Besides, save asking (via text) “Where do you work?” or “What do you like to do for fun?” for the date.
- Lacking initiative. If you’re really interested in dating a woman, don’t beat around the bush and play the text game chitter-chatter. If you say you want to take a woman out, propose a date time and place (or a few suggestions) and eliminate a lot of back and forth brainstorming. Women (like me) generally like a man with a plan and takes charge. Don’t worry, if you go too far we’ll let you know fa sho.
- Waiting for your date in the car. Calling your date to say, “Uh yeah, I’m outside” is NOT a good look. It’s lazy. There’s really no good excuse not to walk to her door to pick her up. Unless she lives in South Central L.A., your parked car will likely be there when you get back. And for a gold star (and a smooch), walk her to her door after the date.
- Texting during dinner. Rude and inconsiderate, period. Show some class and respect. And if it’s absolutely necessary to be on your phone (there aren’t usually many good reasons), excuse yourself.
- Getting lit. I think hard liquor/mixed drinks should be avoided on a first date (stick to wine or a bottle/glass of beer) but if you just really need to take the edge off, limit yourself to one drink. Being inebriated on a first date isn’t cute. And if you can’t stand your date sober, you’re in trouble.
- Admitting to being a Laker/Kobe fan.
I feel like ALL of these things should be NO BRAINERS, yet and still I manage to run into dudes who manage to commit these dating fouls and appear to have no clue. While some guys get offended when I point this out to them (how ya gon’ do better if ya don’t know better?), some guys actually seem appreciative for being made aware they dropped the ball and didn’t make the greatest first impression. I’m all about educating the slow and simple oblivious. Besides, these aren’t necessarily deal breakers for me–I’m willing to allow a man to try again and improve his dating skills.
Ladies, have I left anything out? Are any of these dating no-no’s deal breakers for you? Fellas (if you are even reading lol), what are some things that women do on dates that they have no business doing?