Tonight is the eve of the inauguration of the 45th president of the United States. Though I’m sad to see our illustrious 44th president leave the office he’s held with dignity and humility for the last 8 years, I feel mostly frightened at the uncertainty of what comes next.
Why is it that whenever I think of fireworks, I think of you? Seeing fireworks with you on that 4th of July so many revolutions around the sun ago was the last time I was truly excited about seeing fireworks, the last time I made it a point to see fireworks.
Since I moved to Portland, I’ve felt a disconnect with God. Perhaps because I don’t have a church home, despite my best efforts to find one. I had a great church home back in Pittsburgh. A church home – filled with a wonderful church family – that fed my soul regularly and allowed me to grow and flourish in my faith each and every day. I felt undeniably part of the “body of Christ” and undeniably connected to Christ and His teachings. But now, now I am apart from the body, from the life-sustaining vine. And as a result, I lack a sense of spiritual groundedness. Like I’m free floating, with no direction.
The other day I was watching the Love and Hip Hop Hollywood season 2 premiere. Hollywood is the newest addition to the LHH franchise. And while I find the cast to be a tad washed and boring, I was interested to see how the show would fare with the addition of a Black gay male producer and his closeted, aspiring rapper Black male lover. (Spoiler alert: this gay story line is terribly predictable and over-hyped and will probably end up being the least entertaining thing about this season)
I think it’s safe to say anyone who knows me (be it IRL or via the innanets – I’m my authentic self in any setting) knows that my female friendships are extremely important to me. My mom often reminded me in my younger years, “Men will come and go but good girlfriends are forever.” While I’ve also seen some “friends” come and go, I by and large hold on to good friends.
**Editor’s note: Thank you to @MrsBlackish for sharing her story about love, heartbreak, healing, and new love. **
I remember like it was yesterday when I first met him. I watched him through the spotless gym glass windows as he walked into the gym. Gahtdamnnn he was fine. He stood at 6’5, his chiseled 220 pound body was perfect but his smile was even more amazing. BLINK, just like that I wanted him to be mine. He got on the machine next to me and I saw that he was reading, reading! I got the nerve to talk to him and we started to chat. The next day I prayed ( seriously) that I would see him again. I did and he asked me for my number. It was perfect, he was PERFECT. Two months later I was his girlfriend.